NeuronDoc

Santa is not my friend

2011-12-20T09:57:00.005-05:00

I'm "straight but not narrow", as they say. I firmly support equal rights for gays and lesbians, in all spheres.

If two gay guys get married, my marriage will not disintegrate into a pile of dust or explode like a ton of dynamite.

There is no earthly reason why gays and lesbians should not serve openly in the military.

Homosexuality is not a choice, not a disease, not a mental illness. It is in the wiring, so to speak. And so, discrimination based on sexual orientation really irks my liver, especially organized discrimination. So I choose to put my money where my beliefs are (or not put my money in this case).

(Scene: sidewalk outside local supermarket)

Salvation Army Santa (SAS): (rings bell) Donations for Salvation Army! Help the Poor this holiday season!
Neurondoc (attempts to walk by without making eye contact)
SAS: Care to make a donation?
ND (still no eye contact): No, thank you. (See, I started out polite!)
SAS: You're not going to make a donation?
ND: Nope. Sorry. (Still polite)
SAS: You don't want to help out poor people during the holiday season?
ND (now irked): I'm perfectly happy helping out poor people at any time of the year.
SAS: They why won't you give a donation? You won't miss a dollar or two. It goes to a good cause.
ND (now pissed off): It has nothing to do with me missing a dollar or two. I prefer not to donate money to Salvation Army.
SAS (looks completely shocked): What? Why not?
ND: Because I don't donate money to an organization that practices organized discrimination. Salvation Army discriminates against gay people. So my money goes elsewhere.
SAS (opens mouth, closes mouth, looks away, and rings bell)

Not much to say to that, is there?

I politely refused a Boy Scout (who came to my door in uniform) a couple of months ago. I have no idea what he was selling or wanting, but I wanted nothing to do with him. Call me a curmudgeon, but the BSA is on my shitlist, too.

Fair winds and following seas

2011-11-08T06:00:00.002-05:00

I am a proud member of an internet group called the UCF. While I have not met all of my fellow-members In Real Life, I've shared my thoughts, tragedies, and joy with them. These friends have supported me when I've been sick or sad, and I've been there for them in like situations. Most of us have been able to meet up with at least one other member of the group, thereby strengthening our ties.

Sadly, a member of this group passed away over the weekend. Wendy was witty, funny, wry, and fun. She is the older sister of a younger brother, something I shared with her, and it showed. I had the pleasure of visiting with her in Real Life, when she was in the DC area a couple of years ago. We spent an evening talking, laughing, confessing, teasing, and flat-out enjoying ourselves. We were both especially pleased to meet a fellow short trollop. I will treasure the memory of that evening.

Farewell and safe travels on your journey, dear friend. You will be missed.

9/10/11 is a cool number

2011-09-10T09:53:00.004-04:00

Not only is it numerically cool, but it's my 11th anniversary today. Happy Anniversary to TheHusband! May we have many more! And stop snoring.

How did 11 years go by so quickly? I dunno, but they've been happy years.

NPR's Top 100 SF/F Books (with comments)

2011-08-13T06:00:00.005-04:00

Meme from Random Michelle:

bold – I’ve read it

italic – started and abandoned

bold/italic - read one book in the series and liked it but didn't like the series as a whole or abandoned it (my addition to the grading system)

**made my top 10 SF/F list of books

******************************************

The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien – I finished the first book and got about halfway through the second before I gave up. Never opened the third one. Yes, I know, I’m a heretic.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams – I even own a copy in Italian (which I can’t read)

Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card

The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert – I loved the first couple. After that: yuck!

A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin – The first one in this series was a wall-banger for me: I got to a point in the book that really really annoyed me, so I threw it at the wall. I never finished it.

1984, by George Orwell – Required reading in high school. I didn't like it, mostly because I don't like dystopias.

Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury – I own it, does that count?

**The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov

Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley –– Required reading in high school. Have I mentioned that I don't like dystopias?

American Gods, by Neil Gaiman – I own it, does that count?

The Princess Bride, by William Goldman – I love the movie, but not the book.

The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan – I read the couple of books then simply got bored. Never revisited the series and don’t plan to.

Animal Farm, by George Orwell – It was okay.

Neuromancer, by William Gibson – read it on recommendation of a friend and liked it. Not inclined to read cyberpunk, as a rule.

Watchmen, by Alan Moore

I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov

Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein – I read it when I was about 13, and I really had no idea what the hell it was about. A later reread was far more worthwhile.

The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss- I own the first one (The Name of the Wind), does that count?

Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut

Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley – I own it, does that count?

Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick

The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood – I still don’t like dystopias.

The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King

2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke

The Stand, by Stephen King

Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson – I own it, does that count?

The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury – I own it, does that count?

Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut

The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman – I own it, does that count?

A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess

Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein – read it as a teenager and skipped over a lot of the philosophy. I reread it occasionally now and actually enjoy those parts. Go figure.

Watership Down, by Richard Adams

Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey – I loved the Pern series through "The White Dragon", then wondered what happened

**The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein – Sort of the libertarian's manifesto in SF novel form. I'm not a libertarian, but I do adore this book.

A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller – I still don’t like dystopias.

The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells – I didn’t really like it

20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne

Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys – required reading in high school (hated it). Reread it within the last year and got teary.

The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells

The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny – I enjoyed these and wish he had written more

The Belgariad, by David Eddings – Read this series a few years ago and liked the first one, then was under-impressed with the subsequent ones. Didn’t prevent me from finishing the series (6 books, right?)

The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley

The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson – I think I have the first one somewhere

**Ringworld, by Larry Niven – oh yes, a top 10.

**The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin – I read this one when I was too young to understand it but was still blown away by it.

The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien – nope, sorry.

The Once And Future King, by T.H. White

Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman

**Childhood’s End, by Arthur C. Clarke – This book literally stunned me when I read it (13 or 14?). I’ve never been able to bring myself to read it again, but I put it in my top 10.

Contact, by Carl Sagan – I own it, does that count?

The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons

Stardust, by Neil Gaiman – really liked this one

Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson – I own it, does that count?

World War Z, by Max Brooks – Michelle hates zombies. So do I (they have no brains, so of course I hate them...)

The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle

The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman – yes, another really, really good book.

Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett – I’ve tried this one a couple of times but never felt the love

The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson – Yes, I finished the series. By the end I was probably thinking "these are hours of my life I’ll never get back" but I had to know how it ended. Ask me now how the series ended and I couldn’t tell you.

**The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold – My favorite series of books. Period. I think the Vorkosiverse numbers 16 books now, and I not only buy them faithfully, I buy 'em in hardcover.

Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett – More Discworld. I just don’t get Discworld.

The Mote In God’s Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle – in my top 20. I reread it every few years.

The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind

The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke

I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson -- This confused me at first, because I was mixing it up with My Name Is Legion by Roger Zelazny

The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist – one of those never-ending fantasy series

The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks – Yuck. Yuck. Did I mention yuck?

The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard

The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb – I tend to get bored by sweeping epic fantasy.

The Time Traveler’s Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger

The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson

A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne

The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore

Old Man’s War, by John Scalzi – I really like this series.

The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson

Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke

The Kushiel’s Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey – I tried the first one, got about 50 pages in and said to myself "I’d rather spend my time clipping my toenails…".

The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin – I own it, does that count?

Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury – I own it, does that count?

Wicked, by Gregory Maguire

The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson

The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde – I really enjoyed this book and seriously disliked the 2nd one. I think I own the 3rd one but am not interested in trying it.

The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks – I loved "The Player of Games", a novel in this series, but haven’t tried any of the others. I’m thinking I should.

The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart – Not my favorite in this series. I liked the 3rd book (The Hollow Hills) much more.

Anathem, by Neal Stephenson

The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher – I liked the first couple of books in this series a lot and stuck it out to the end, though I found the last one derivative and boring.

The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe

The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn

The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan – I liked the first book and maybe the second and faltered on the 3rd.

The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock

The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury – I own it, does that count?

Sunshine, by Robin McKinley

**A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge – Oh yes! You should read this one. At least twice.

The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov – definitely a top 20 for me, though not quite top 10 (at least the day that I voted)

The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson – I liked Red Mars and couldn't get into the 2nd one. Might have to give it another try.

Lucifer’s Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle – Really like this one and reread it occasionally. Has one of my favorite scenes in all of SF: some crazy guy surfing a tsunami into LA…

Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis – This isn’t my favorite of hers (Bellwether is), but I’d put it in my top 20.

Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville – Couldn’t finish it, but don't ask me why.

The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony – I tried one of these and couldn't get into it.

The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

7 of my top 10 made this list (Childhood's End, The Vorkosigan saga, The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, Ringworld, A Fire Upon The Deep, The Left Hand Of Darkness).

I've read 39/100 (either the book named or the entire series), partially completed 5 series (and liked at least one of the books), and disliked 9/100 books or series enough not to finish at all. That's a total of 53/100, which is less than I expected. Clearly, I have some reading to do.

The 3 books that I voted for that didn't make the top 100 were The Sparrow (Doria Russell), The Swordspoint Trilogy (Ellen Kushner), and The Uplift Saga (David Brin).

A Fork (but not in the road)

2011-08-12T15:06:00.003-04:00

Conversation with ThePinkThing last night at a restaurant:
TPT: How come this fork has only 3 points?
Me: Some forks only have 3. It's how they're made, and the points are called tines.
TPT: But that's not right. They're *supposed* to have 4 points.
Me: Really? Why do you think that?
TPT: That's why they're called forks. Right?

So after a brief silence then some hysterical laughter, we all decided that forks with 3 tines should really be called "threeks".

The logic of an eight year-old is very interesting, isn't it?

The placebo effect is alive and well

2011-06-06T11:29:00.003-04:00

I'm back on Lovenox for a short time, ahead of some minor surgery tomorrow. ThePinkThing wanted to watch me give myself the injection this morning. (Either a ghoul or a future doctor...). She came in to observe after I'd cleaned the area with the alcohol pad but before I stabbed myself. She watched critically and carefully.

Here is a reasonable approximation of our post-injection interaction:
ND: "Ouch. That does hurt a bit." (It doesn't hurt while I inject. It burns for about 15 minutes afterwards, though.)
TPT: "Why don't you use the white square? When Dr. Victor uses the white square on my arm before he gives me a shot, it doesn't hurt."
ND: "You missed it. I did use the white square."
TPT: "Then how come it hurts you?"
ND (thinking quickly): "Because the shots I'm taking are different medicine from the ones Dr. Victor gives you."
TPT (thinks carefully): "Okay... Mommy, can I give you the shot tonight? Maybe it won't hurt if I give it."
ND (practically flinching at the thought of my 8 year-old sticking a needle in me...): "Ummm... you can help me push the plunger, but I have to stick the needle in."

Just in case you hadn't figured it out -- the "white square" TPT is referring to is the alcohol pad. I'll let her think that the white square magically makes an injection not hurt for as long as I can...

The moon is made of cheddar cheese?

2010-12-21T10:38:00.004-05:00

The moon was orange last night... As many of you know, there was a total lunar eclipse last night. Lunar eclipses are rarely visible in the northeast US sky, and this would be a never-repeated-in-my-lifetime event. The reason that we could see this eclipse in Maryland is that the sun is at its most southern point on the winter solstice (December 21). The sun has to be opposite the moon for a total eclipse to occur, and the full moon this month is high in the northern sky.

For a science geek, this was an opportunity not to be missed. And it was a clear night.

The eclipse was maximal at 2:41 am EST, so I set my alarm for 2:30. I could see the moon out of my bedroom window, though it took some contorting. It wasn't like a solar eclipse, where there is a black shadow obscuring the sun, but the moon was definitely darker, like a shadow was obscuring it. TheHusband and I got dressed and trudged outside to take pictures (and see it without kneeling and twisting about to see it out the window). I tried to wake ThePinkThing, but she grumbled, rolled over, and pulled the cover over her head. Her loss, and she's grumpy about it this morning.

At 3:17 am, the moon's color was the most orangey-red. Really lovely and obvious to the naked eye, even without binoculars (TH's binocs are 30 years old and show their age). We have a high-level point-and-shoot camera with lots of settings but no tripod. We were able to get some really nice shots anyway on the "Nightime Nature" setting.

Now I want to see a total solar eclipse, someday. And the Aurora Borealis. Don't you?

Happy 95th to Zaydie

2010-12-19T11:43:00.006-05:00

I am wishing a Happy 95th Birthday to my grandfather (aka, Zaydie) today. Though we celebrated his birthday as a family on the Saturday after Thanksgiving (because most of the grandkids were in for Turkey Day), today is the The Real Thing.

You might remember that I had solicited gift suggestions for a 95th birthday present. I had said at the time that we already had his gift planned. And I promised that I would tell you when the time came.

We got him a web page -- www.zaydie.com. Actually, we regifted him the web page. We (the grandkids) bought our grandfather www.zaydie.net in 2000 to celebrate his 85th birthday. At some point between then and now, zaydie.com became available, so we switched to that address instead. We hadn't updated the web page since 2003, so we collected pictures of ourselves and our kids and revamped zaydie.com. Kudos go to TheHusband who did the majority of the work on the webpage. And our Zaydie has his own (public) photo album of his grandkids and great-grandkids to show off.

This birthday is especially special to all of us, because my grandfather is recovering from a nephrectomy (kidney removal) to treat kidney cancer. When I visited him last weekend at the rehab center he looked better at 10 days post-op than I did at 10 days post-op last year.

I am very lucky.

Shilling for audiobooks

2010-12-07T09:45:00.005-05:00

Happy Chanukah to me! I got a one-year subscription to audible.com for my Chanukah present. It is, for the most part, my first foray into audiobooks. I've listened to a few audiobooks over the years, but I don't love them as I love reading books. However, I am back to spending more time commuting than I like, since my office moved over a year ago. News on the radio just makes me agitated, which is not a good way to start or end the day. I just don't dig music. I've tried, really, but music just doesn't hold my interest longer than a few songs. I don't like hearing the same songs over and over (so my music CDs bore me), and I really don't like commercials (so regular radio is right out). I am not willing to invest in satellite radio. Therefore, in order to keep me sane on my trafficky rides to and from work, I will be listening to audiobooks.

A one year subscription to audible.com comes with 12 "credits", and most books are one credit apiece. I picked out 4 audiobooks last night, 2 each from 2 of my favorite authors, so I have 8 more books to choose. I am looking to find new authors and listen to new books, not just get audio versions of favorites.

I would love suggestions for books that have translated well to the audio format -- books that you've really enjoyed listening to. I tend to read genre fiction -- primarily science fiction, fantasy, and mystery. Got any suggestions?

QotD: (The Uncle Danny version) What am I, chopped liver?

2010-11-22T10:00:00.003-05:00

QotD: What are you doing on this fine Sunday?

2010-11-21T15:00:00.001-05:00

QotD: Isn't she cute?

2010-11-20T10:25:00.003-05:00

Isn't she cute?

QotD: Do you like your job?

2010-11-19T09:31:00.005-05:00

QotD: I've run out of questions

2010-11-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

It looks like I've run out of questions and haven't been getting many answers anyway. It was fun while it lasted.

The blog shall, therefore, return to its previous quiet existence.

QotD: Where do extra socks go?

2010-11-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

QotD: WTF is it with plastic packaging?

2010-11-17T06:00:00.003-05:00

QotD: Why does my lane always go the slowest?

2010-11-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

QotD: Are blood thinners poison for vampires?

2010-11-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

QotD: If I feed my daughter cereal for dinner, does that make me a bad mother?

2010-11-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

QotD: Do you have a favorite season?

2010-11-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

QotD: What do you give someone for his 95th birthday?

2010-11-12T06:00:00.002-05:00

QotD: What do we owe our veterans?

2010-11-11T06:00:00.006-05:00

This month I've decided to post every day. Since I don't have enough original things to write about (hence the desertish nature of my blog lately), I've decided to ask a new question every day this month and hope that I get answers. I have questions; you have answers.

Happy Veteran's Day. Sort of. I might be the poster child for tree-hugging, bleeding heart liberal, but I am ever thankful for people who are willing to serve my country and protect me by putting themselves in harm's way. Plus, I'm married to a veteran.

I'm a neurologist, so I think about the brain. I think about things that hurt the brain. I think about what happens to the brain after it gets hurt. Mix in thinking about Iraq and Afghanistan, and you see me worrying about the current state (or lack thereof) of adequate health care and mental health care for our returning soldiers. I am lucky that I have good health insurance (providing I remain healthy and employed, that is). TheHusband served in the military and was honorably discharged, so he is entitled to health care through the VA system. Sadly, I am happy that he does not have to receive care there. Trust me, I've worked in a VA Hospital, and I know of what I speak. Issues relating to poor health care in the VA system aren't solely related to the ... um... lack of services at the institutions (I'm being kind here), but also to the lack of coverage where coverage is needed. VA clinics and hospitals are relatively few and far between, especially in rural areas, where the need is likely to be greatest.

Traumatic brain injury and PTSD are seen in increasing numbers of soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. While the diagnosis of these disorders may be easy in severe cases, diagnosis and treatment of mild or moderate cases can be difficult and confusing. A simple PubMed search of PTSD plus TBI returned 102 articles, 21 of which were published in 2010. Not an insignificant problem. As you can imagine, something that is difficult to diagnose is likely to be difficult to treat. There is no real good treatment for either of these disorder, which even in their "mild" forms can be quite disabling. Add together disroders that are hard to diagnose, difficult to treat, and a health care system inadequately prepared to deal with these issues, and it equals sick servicemembers who are not receiving care they deserve.

The lack of adequate chronic and mental health care is a concern for all of us, not just for the servicemembers and their family members. The Army Times has identified a serious lack of available care for treatment of traumatic brain injury (TBI). Reports have shown that the Army's efforts to reduce returning soldiers' suicides are failing.

So what do we owe our veterans? At the very least, we owe them adequate health care, especially to take care of war-related injuries.

I wish that this post included brilliant ideas for fixing these problems, but I don't have any. But neither, it seems, do people who are in charge.

QotD: Neurology question

2010-11-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

QotD: Can a man and a woman really be platonic friends?

2010-11-09T06:00:00.002-05:00

QotD: Is Jim Wright an asshole?

2010-11-08T06:00:00.002-05:00

QotD: Pancakes or French Toast?

2010-11-07T06:00:00.001-05:00

QotD: Alaska or Hawaii?

2010-11-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

QotD: Are internet friends just as good friends as meat-space friends?

2010-11-05T06:00:00.002-04:00

QotD: Is it really so hard to drive fast in the left lane and slow in the right?

2010-11-04T06:00:00.001-04:00

QotD (Halloween version): Is it okay to snitch candy from your kid's Halloween candy haul?

2010-11-03T06:00:00.001-04:00

This month I've decided to post every day. Please don't faint. Since I don't have enough original things to write about (hence the desertish nature of my blog lately), I've decided to ask a new question every day this month and hope that I get answers. I have questions; you have answers.

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I have no connection to the concept of All Hallow's Eve, being a nice Jewish girl, so Halloween for me has always been about costumes and candy. I grew up in a generic NJ suburb, in a neighborhood with bunches of kids -- fertile hunting ground for candy pickings on Halloween. Most of the time my brother and I trick-or-treated on our own, then with friends as we grew older. Our costumes came mostly from stuff around the house. I remember being a black cat (black leotard, black tights, aluminum foil tail / ears, and whiskers drawn on with eyeliner), a giraffe (my mom made that one from an old blanket), and a doctor (my dad snitched scrubs, mask, and hat from the hospital). My brother and I would typically circle the block, ringing doorbells and chanting "Trick or treat, Smell my feet, Gimme something good to eat". We'd come home with a haul of candy.

The typical post-trick-or-treating activity involved dumping out the sack and sorting the candy. There was the stuff neither of us would touch (Almond Joys, Mounds, taffy, Baby Ruth), candy we liked but would be willing to trade (sweet tarts, licorice, peanut M&M's) and the keepers (Milky Ways, Snickers, Hershey bars, regular M&M's...). There might be a flurry of trading, we'd get to eat a piece or two, then it was brush teeth and off to bed.

Strangely enough, the amounts in our candy bags always seemed to drop more quickly than expected. Mind you, I never caught them at it or had any proof, but I am positive that my parents helped themselves after we were in bed. More than once.

TheHusband has consistently snitched from ThePinkThing's candy haul since she started trick-or-treating. I have taken a piece or two, I will admit, but not many, not like TH. Is it really okay to decimate your kid's Halloween candy stash? (glares at TheHusband)

QotD: Election Day version about robocalls...

2010-11-02T06:00:00.002-04:00

QotD: Is pink fleece fashionable?

2010-11-01T11:27:00.006-04:00

I can haz migraine?

2010-09-29T12:57:00.004-04:00

Unfortunately, it seem that I can.

Some of my friends have been troubled with migraines recently. Much as I enjoy sharing things with you, I would prefer that YOU. KEEP. YOUR. MIGRAINES. TO. YOURSELVES.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Brainzz Management Services

Helpful pie-charting

2010-09-28T10:27:00.014-04:00

So, as I said in my last post, one of the things I do for a living is read (and evaluate) clinical trials. Much of the math and statistics remains beyond the ability of my pea-sized math brain to understand. But I do often catch it when the authors are trying to pull a fast one on me. And that irks me.

Dear Scientist,

If you insist on including graphs as scientifically "meaningful" as the one below in your really, really important medical study, you will be laughed at. Then I will wield Janiece's Shovel of Doom (TM) and make you go away.

xoxoxo,
Neurondoc

Thank God for Biostatisticians!

2010-09-24T10:50:00.003-04:00

I work in the medical field. That's a big "Duh!", I know. Part of my job as a physician is to keep up-to-date in my field (neurology). Most of the meaningful neurology articles published in reputable journals come in the form of clinical studies. And those clinical studies, whether prospective randomized placebo-controlled trials or retrospective observational case series studies, include statistics.

I hate statistics. Really, I do. Why, you ask? Well, that's because my stats course in medical school consisted of lectures from a biostats grad student on 8 or 10 successive Friday afternoons. This grad student did not want to be there, and neither did we. It was poorly taught, and (certainly in my case) poorly learned. I swear that I came out of med school with only one statistics "fact" in my head -- p values should be greater than 0.05 (P> .05) for the study results to be significant. Let's just say that this minimalistic view of biostatistics was not really adequate for a practicing physician.

I'm not here to teach or explain statistics (God, no!), but I have learned quite a bit more useful methods of evaluating the adequacy of statistical analyses over the past few years. I greatly appreciate the biostatisticians in my (professional) life (thank you! thank you!).

And so I present this video for your viewing pleasure (found on youtube, of course). If you aren't interested in statistics or scientific analyses, then feel free to move along. But it had me laughing out loud.

Flower!

2010-09-14T06:00:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to share a nice picture I took. Apparently, this is a begonia. My non-floral brain simply says "pretty pink flower".

Lice (and Mousie)

2010-09-13T06:00:00.004-04:00

Sigh.

And yuck.

ThePinkThing's been scratching her head for a few weeks. I'm not stupid, so the first thing I thought of was lice. I (being a researchy kinda person) looked up lice is diagnosed and followed the instructions. I saw nothing, nothing I tell you. I looked behind her ears and at the back of her head but didn't see nits or bugs. I changed her shampoo and conditioner, I changed our laundry detergent, I even had her use Neutrogena's T-Gel a few times. But she still kept scratching.

I must be blind or something. Since TheHusband was going to TPT's pediatrician's office anyway to fix one of their computers, I sent her along for an evaluation. (TH fixes the computer, KidDoc fixes TPT's itchy head, right? It's a fair trade.) KidDoc apparently saw the nits right away. Eeeeuw. And gross. (Yes, yes, I know that I'm a Brain Doctor, and the sight of brain slices fazes me not in the least. But ooogey bug eggs in my kid's hair gross me out, okay?) When I told KidDoc that I had looked and didn't find anything, there was silence on the phone. I know he was thinking "God save me from these adult specialists who can't even diagnose something basic..."

I followed KidDoc's instructions (Rid shampoo, followed by Prell shampoo, followed by some serious hair inspection/combing). I stripped the beds, washed all of the bedding in hot water, dried it on high, put the pillows in the dryer for 20 minutes on high (Oooo, toasty!), washed the towels, and vacuumed the carpet in her room. I washed everything again before nit-picking session number 2, as well.

I was also instructed to put any stuffed animals she sleeps with in a plastic bag. Note that TPT is not terribly fond of stuffed animals, which is strange considering how stuffed-animal-obsessed my brother and I were (I guess she takes after TH, in that respect). She does have two favorites -- Mousie and Cottontail. Cottontail is a generic rabbit, but Mousie is special. My brother gave Mousie to me in 1989, when I had to have surgery. She is a big, fat, white mouse with personality (though all of our stuffed animals had personalities when we were kids). For some reason, Mousie's signature activity is screeching "MOTHER" at the top of her lungs (yes, I am the voice of Mousie...). TPT thinks it's hilarious and appropriated Mousie for her own a few years ago. She also decided that I am no longer Mousie's "mother", she is. Kids are strange, yes? When I told her that Mousie would have to spend 2 weeks in a plastic garbage bag, TPT became distraught and started to cry. She told me that Mousie doesn't like being in the bag and wants to come out. Eventually she stopped crying and decided to throw Mousie a party in 2 weeks to make up for her captivity. When I mentioned the Mousie-situation to my brother (via text), his response (also via text) was as follows:

"MOTHERRRRRRRRRRR!"

and

"MOTHER, GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

When I showed these texts to TPT, she ran around shrieking "Mother, get me out!" at the top of her lungs. Perhaps she does share some stuffed-animal-genes with me and her uncle, after all.

Looking forward to the lice going away and Mousie being sprung from prison. And anytime I scratch my head now, I am paranoid.

Was Yellow, Now Orange

2010-09-11T22:51:00.009-04:00

ThePinkThing has earned her orange belt in karate. I've done my best not to live vicariously through her -- i.e., making her do stuff I couldn't do as a kid. I have made her try various activities, like gymnastics, ballet, and ice skating, more for the exercise and experience than anything. She hasn't enjoyed any of them and happily gave them up as soon as she was allowed. Some of them really happily (not a future prima ballerina...).

However, karate has held her attention for more than 6 months, and she insists that she is going to get her black belt. It is a big time commitment, because the students at her karate school are expected to attend class twice weekly. She has been assiduous in attending her karate classes all summer, only missing them when we were away on vacation. And so, today she took her belt test and progressed from yellow to orange belt. And in keeping with her girly nature, she wore a t-shirt with a pink frosted cupcake on it underneath her uniform. Much to TPT's glee, her friend NT got her yellow belt, so they will be back in the same class again.

Don't mess with TPT or she'll knock your block off!

Round kick! (friend NT in background, behind instructor)

Jump Round Kick!

Broken board

Now an orange belt!

10 on the 10th

2010-09-10T06:00:00.002-04:00

Just like last year, I'd like to take the time to wish TheHusband a happy anniversary. Can you believe it's been 10 years?!?!

Right, me neither.

TheHusband says the tune for this song is from the William Tell Overture. Given my consistently tone-deaf state, I'm forced to agree with him by default (just like an obedient wife, I guess). Is he correct?

Happy New Year!

2010-09-09T06:00:00.000-04:00

I had a friend in college whose parents were both Jewish, but neither were practicing Jews. I don't think either one cared a bit about religion in general, or Judaism in particular. My friend grew up in Southern California, where there are probably half as many Jews as there are in Israel, so she and her sister were (sort of) exposed to Jewish culture.

One fine fall day, my friend's father and sister went to the supermarket to do the grocery shopping. My friend's father was apparently annoyed by the signs and displays in the grocery store. He turned to the sister and said "Why the heck does this store have New Year's signs up? It's September for goodness sake. We haven't even had Halloween or Thanksgiving yet."

The sister replied "Uh, Dad, it's Rosh Hashanah."

Her dad responded with the ever useful "Oh."

Happy New Year and L'shana Tova to those who celebrate it. We're having apples and honey today. And I even took the day off.

The Curse of Lake Wallenpaupack

2010-09-07T06:00:00.001-04:00

Yes, it struck again. I've mentioned that whenever we visit my friends at their house in the Poconos, something bad seems to happen. Even when they come to visit us, badness occurs. I did threaten to leave TheHusband home if we went to the lake house again. This time, he wasn't the problem.

We wanted a low-key, relaxing summer vacation this year. Last summer we went to Great Wolf Lodge right before school started, which was fun but frenetic (add friends with 4 kids and frenetic is definitive). So we tempted fate and stayed at our friends' lake house in the Poconos for a WHOLE WEEK, from 8/21-8/29. I was really tempting fate with a whole week's stay.

Our trip there was mildly annoying, because we left an hour and a half later than planned, forgot the blow-up mattress (thankfully our friends brought theirs), and left the car adapter for the DVD player at home. A Radio Shack along the way didn't have the right tip. So we had a 4 hour car ride with an only child and no obvious method of entertainment (it was dark for almost the whole ride). We survived. And, yes I am fully aware that everyone in my generation (and a million generations before mine) all went on long car trips without such nice methods of entertainment. Yes, yes, I know that. But it does make things so much easier.

The first weekend was nice, although the weather turned against us on Sunday (low 70s and rainy). Seven and four year-olds don't mind going in the lake or hot tub when it's raining. Their parents don't love standing around in the rain quite as much. Later that day, our friends went home and we had almost a whole week of relaxation and fun ahead of us.

It was fun and relaxing. Perhaps a bit more relaxing than expected, as it rained and was cool from Sunday through Wednesday. It was like 500 degrees every day this summer, except that week. Where's the justice in that, eh? We went to 2 different "family fun" places, and ThePinkThing played skee-ball, air hockey, and other arcade games that (of course) promote mental development. TheHusband and I had our usual no-holds-barred, cutthroat game of air hockey, for which I will sacrifice a certain level of back pain. I WON, OF COURSE. We went to a mall to buy some of her school clothes. We drove to NJ to see my grandparents, who live about 2 hours from Lake Wallenpaupack. I even worked one of the days. Not exactly the activities I was expecting for a vacation at the Poconos lake. I figured that our badness this year was the weather. No biggie in the real scheme of things.

Thursday the weather cleared up, although the lake temperature was, um, cool. TheHusband had promised ThePinkThing that he would take her Jet-Skiing, and Thursday was the day. Riding on a Jet-Ski was basically forbidden by SpineDoc for me ("Are you nuts? You had a lumbar fusion a few months ago. You know better than that..."), so I was the cheering section on shore. TPT enjoyed it but got really cold. She also said that she liked going 10 mph better than 40 mph. I wonder what that says about my husband's aquatic driving skills? Friday we went to a very nice beach at the lake. Sunny, nice, cold water, few people, lots of sand, very attentive and hungry ducks. (Did you know that ducks eat ice cream sandwiches? I didn't until that day.)

Friday night (8/27) my friends and their daughters arrived. (Yay, PinkPlaymates! And grown-ups to hang with, too!) Saturday was another beach day. One nice thing about kids of a certain age is that you no longer have to hover over them or watch them every minute.

On the Sunday morning I was silently congratulating myself for surviving the week at Lake Wallenpaupack unscathed. In retrospect, I just should've kept my (internal) piehole shut. TPT and the 7 year-old PinkPlaymate were riding their scooters on the back deck, while the four year-old was alternately begging to join in and whining that the big girls weren't playing with her. The wheel of TPT's scooter must've gotten caught in between the slats of the deck, and she fell over, hitting her face on the edge of the bench. She immediately started crying. She is the kind of kid who cries at the drop of a hat, and I have learned to differentiate the "Wah -- that hurt" cry from the "OMFG WAAAAAAHHHH, a limb is hanging by a thread" kinda cry. She let out one of the latter.

I may have mobility issues, but I can move quickly enough when I need to. She hit her right eye (the eyelid, thank goodness) and the bridge of her nose on a square edge of a bench. She ended up with a laceration on the eyelid and some pretty impressive swelling/bruising of the right eyelid. She may have had a hairline fracture of the bridge of her nose, but if she did, it was asymptomatic and non-displaced.

One other bad thing about this most recent evidence of the Curse was that she had her first day of school on the day after the injury. Poor thing was in a total tizzy about going to school with a black eye -- to the point where she "couldn't fall asleep". Once she got to school, she was fine, but boy it was a chore getting her to go. Note that a swollen eye and bruise on her nose didn't stop her from climbing the street pole, as usual.

A week after the injury, you can't even see it -- the healing power of children. TheHusband has now refused to visit my friends' lake house next summer, in hopes that the Curse of Lake Wallenpaupack may dissipate, if we stay away. He said that if we go to Alaska instead, it might not find us there. I'm game.

Forsooth, 'twas a funne tyme!

2010-09-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, yes, yes, I know that's a bit precious, but what do you expect from me after I just spent the day at the Maryland Renaissance Festival?

This was our second visit to the MD RenFest, and my third overall visit to a Ren Faire (I went to the NY Renaissance Faire one summer when I was in college). I really like these kinds of events -- people in costume, a variety of performers, music, food, and lovely crafts. It's tame compared to the World Science Fiction Convention. Just like at WorldCon, there are plenty of people wearing costumes that they just shouldn't. Let's just say that there was one woman in a corset that elicited a comment from TPT ("Mommy, why are that lady's boobies coming out of her dress?"). I had a bit of a cat-fest about that costume with another woman. Eeeeuw, it was truly appalling.

We went to the MD Renaissance Festival last summer with friends. It was 15 degrees cooler, 4 kids less, and about 3x more crowded than last year. It was less hectic (nobody got lost, ran off, or got left behind) but TPT had to wait about 25 minutes for a 5 second ride down the big slide. Though I missed my friends, we did meet up with a coworker. I noticed that her Facebook post said she was on her way to the RenFest, so I called her to see if we could meet up. We did, and she was even in costume (much to TPT's enjoyment). It was extra fun wandering the "streets" of Revel Grove with a wench.

We

ate turkey legs (yum!)
watched Irish and Scottish dancing (complete with bagpipes)
caught bubbles (you can't imagine how disgusting TPT was after this...)
went down a big slide (which TPT said was "a little scary")
practiced juggling
ate chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick
saw a jousting match (couldn't understand a thing the MC said, but apparently our team won)
got our (well, TPT's) hair braided
went through a maze
bought a birthday present (some lovely glass work for ME!)
got a magic wand
and took lots of pictures

We're hoping to go again in October. Wanna come, too?

TPT plus a passing wizard

TPT catching bubbles (bubble soap plus dirt = messy kid)

Turkey (or brontosaurus?) legs for all!

Wheeeeeeeee! Down the slide...

TPT juggling 2 balls, semi-successfully. Perhaps she'll be as good as Uncle Doug someday.

TH, not as successful as TPT, but game to try.

The jousting was fun, but, holy cow, the knights had to have been boiling inside those tin cans!

Braiding successful. Lavender flowers this year.

In the Stinky Club

2010-09-02T06:00:00.006-04:00

I like to eat interesting foods. I have a pretty wide palate. I am gastronomically adventurous. But my dinner tonight stretched my palate practically to the breaking point. I tried a bite, a very small bite, of stinky tofu. What is stinky tofu, you ask? It is tofu that has been soaked for a day in a fermented brine. The brine consists of a bunch of nasty ingredients, apparently. Wikipedia says that stinky tofu smells worse than it tastes. Clearly, I ate a different kind of stinky tofu than the Wiki experts did.

I ate a minuscule piece. It was a not-to-be-repeated experience, but I am glad that I did give it a whirl. But HOLY CRAP, THAT SHIT TASTES BAD.

Why did I eat it? Well, I had dinner with John the Scientist, who is a connoisseur of the stuff. He's even convinced a relatively normal friend of mine to try this stuff. I figured that it wouldn't kill me, although I did worry that I would cast up my crumpets, so to speak, at the table.

I got to the restaurant first. I have a very sensitive nose and smells easily bother me. As soon as I walked into the joint, I noticed a slightly perturbing smell of rotten fried, dirty sweat socks.

We ordered a bunch of different foods -- I allowed John to pick, just telling him that I hate ginger and black pepper and I prefer not to eat items that look like what they were prior to cooking, like chicken feet or shrimp with the eyes still attached (barf!). John ordered Taiwanese hamburgers (which are pork bits and cilantro and some sweet stuff -- totally yummy!), oyster pancakes (I liked everything about those except the oysters), a beef noodle dish (also really good, can't remember its real name), and jellyfish. I have issues with food consistency and was worried about the jellyfish (see it wiggle? see it jiggle?). It has a softer consistency than really good fresh squid, but is along that continuum. It was also yummy. A really boring squid/mushroom soup rounded out the food choices. Well, except for the (dum, dum, dum...) stinky tofu.

John ordered a stinky tofu appetizer. It arrived with the rest of the food and sat on his side of the table about as far from me as possible. It stared at me. It attracted me. I couldn't stop looking at it. It made me nervous. John said that it was much less overtly smelly than the stuff he ate in Taiwan and the stuff he ate with Nathan. However, I could smell it quite well, even though it was as far from me as possible while still remaining on our table. At the end of the meal, John lined up the food that would be his stinky tofu chasers and bit off a sizable bite of a piece. His face sort of scrunched up and screwed around to one side. Then he ate his chasers. Apparently, though this stinky tofu was less smelly, it was pretty strong stuff.

I kept eying it. I wanted to try it, but I didn't want to. It smelled awful. Truly disgusting -- like fried, 10-day-old vomit. John picked a piece off one of the big chunks and gave it to me. It sat on my little plate for a while. I picked it up and looked at it and (unfortunately) smelled it. That was the barrier. If I ate this damn thing, I knew that I'd be putting something that smelled that nasty into my mouth. On purpose. By my own choice. John didn't pressure me at all. (It stank!) But eventually, after much waffling and hesitation, I broke off a smaller piece and put it in my mouth

HOLY FREAKING SHIT! It tasted WORSE than it smelled. But I swallowed quickly, chased it down with some noodles, and didn't puke up my dinner. .I won't ever try it again, but I'm glad that I did eat it, if only for the bragging rights. That shit should be bottled as an appetite suppressant. I am not sure when I will want to eat again. Perhaps next week. But I now consider myself a lifetime member of the Stinky Tofu Club.

And John went back to his hotel (on the Metro) carrying the leftover stinky tofu. I wouldn't want to share a seat with him on the train...

Bagging Blogging

2010-03-16T18:46:00.001-04:00

As has been obvious over the past few months, I have not exactly been an inspired blogger. I've been a mostly-invisible blogger. It's not really that I have nothing to say. It's just that I haven't had anything nice to say. I have to push myself to even think about the blog, and that's not an environment conducive to blogging.

It doesn't help that the back pain is much worse over the past few weeks. The initial improvement in back pain followed by a gradual and significant worsening is not a good sign. It is most suggestive of non-fusion or pseudarthrosis. That is not exactly the outcome I hoped for when I went in for surgery. I was supposed to suffer for a while and then get better. Unfortunately it seems that I suffered more than I expected at the beginning (why yes, I am still on the blood thinners to treat the DVT and pulmonary embolism) without any lasting benefit. I have an xray scheduled for later this week and an appointment with the neurosurgeon next Friday. The options in general suck and I am pretending that everything is A-1, just ducky, going along fine. I swear it takes all of my energy to keep up the pretense.

And that brings me around to the real point of this post. I just don't feel like blogging anymore. I never intended that this become only a place for me to whine and complain -- and that is really all I want to do right now. So I am taking yet another vacation from blogging. Perhaps short-term, maybe long-term, possibly permanent. If the heavens open and angels start to sing (i.e., the back pain magically gets better), I may return.

Thanks for listening over the past year and 178 posts.

Gadgetty Girl

2010-02-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

I got a new phone. I didn't really need a new phone, but I really wanted one. I tend hoard birthday and Chanukah presents. Maybe "hoard" isn't the right word -- more like delay the gratification. I'll say to TheHusband that I don't want a present for a birthday or two, but then cash in on a bigger present -- quality over quantity, I guess. I didn't get a birthday or Chanukah present knowing that I wanted a phone with internet capability. I don't need a phone that can check the internet, I just really want one, and I've wanted one for about 3 years.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I got one. I've played people's iPhones and had phone envy, so I seriously considered getting an iPhone. But I didn't want to switch to AT&T. Their network in the DC area is okay at best, and I've been generally happy with Verizon. In fact, I've had a Verizon wireless account since 1996. I have had various Palm OS-based products for over 10 years now. One of the most valuable products for me is Epocrates -- a program that provides basic information on drugs (a la the PDR), but it has an excellent drug-drug interaction database that I consult frequently. I used to carry a PDA and a cheap cell phone, but about 5 years ago I got a Treo 650 (bought used on eBay), but I never had the data plan ($45/month was too rich for my blood). When that one died of a terminal interaction with a parking lot, I got the Treo 755P but still no data plan.

But I really wanted to be able to check the internet anywhere in my house, so when my "new" Treo started dropping calls, freezing, and generally being annoying, I decided to "use" my delayed presents and get a new smartphone (apparently they aren't called PDA phones anymore) with a data plan. TheHusband was amenable to this so I immediately started my research. One of my coworkers got the Palm Pre (Sprint) last summer, and I liked what I saw. I played with a friend's iPhone and liked that too. I immediately dismissed any Window-based smartphones (look, I'm a Mac-head, Palm-user at heart). Serendipitously, Palm launched the Palm Pre Plus -- a new Palm-based smartphone for Verizon. I decided on that one, especially because I wanted to stick with Verizon wireless.

Then TheHusband expressed interest in getting a smartphone for himself. After I picked myself up from my faint, I dragged him right off to the Verizon store. The visit to the Verizon store just cemented my desire for the Palm Pre Plus, but TheHusband was undecided. Since we could get the rebate automatically if we bought it online, I thanked the guy behind the counter and we left. I felt bad that he didn't get credit for the sale, but I am so bad about sending in rebate paperwork that buying on line made sense. After much cogitation and decision-making, TheHusband decided on the Samsung Rogue for himself. He didn't care so much about the internet, but he wanted something with a keyboard so texting me back wouldn't be so annoying. He wanted to be able to put in his own ringtones, which his old brick-like phone (dated 2000) wouldn't let him do. He wanted to be able to input contacts. He didn't care so much about Wi-Fi, which was a deal-breaker for me.

I love my new phone. It does everything I want. It's cute. I can surf the web in before I go to bed. I have some objections to it -- I do not want to store my contacts and appointments in the "cloud". Neither Google nor Palm needs to know that much about me. I am a casual user -- I don't use the phone for business purposes. I can't check my work email with it, which is fine by me. I found a program that allows me to sync my phone to the old Palm desktop program that I've been using for years. I miss a couple of the PalmOS games that aren't available (yet?) on WebOS. I used an encrypted software program to store passwords and other importnat information. I loved that program. It does exist in a WebOS version, but instead of syncing to my own computer, apparently it syncs to the comapny's central server instead. Ummm, no, I am not putting my passwords and other important information on some random server. Nope, no way, no how. I will wait for a time to see if that company comes to its senses and comes out with a PC desktop for syncing, otherwise I'll find another encrypted program.

TheHusband doesn't love his. he likes the phone except for the volume. He has incredibly acute hearing, but the speaker on his phone sucks. SUCKS. If he can't hear it, then it is just too soft. He even has trouble hearing the damn thing ring. So he will be heading to the Verizon store tomorrow to see if the phone has a bad speaker or if that is what you get with the Rogue. We are still within the 30 day trial period, so exchanging it for something else won't be a big deal. I won't be sorry if he trades it in, to be honest. He decided to call the phone "Sarah" after Sarah Palin, because she's such a rogue. I have been tempted to stomp on the phone simply because of that.

Crazy friends and pathetic husband

2010-02-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

As the follow up to Snobliteration, my best friends from college came to visit. They have 2 daughters, one of whom is a few months younger than ThePinkThing, and the other is 3 years younger. Last time they came to visit for a weekend, their YoungerGirl had to be forcibly removed from TPT's bedroom, due to incessant talking at bedtime. TPT still remembers that moment fondly. Having no siblings, she seems to take joy from younger siblings getting in trouble. To be honest, so did I as a kid, but that was because if a younger sibling in my house got in trouble, it was my brother. Always amusing.

Anyway, these friends had had long-standing plans to visit last weekend, and they weren't going to let a foot or four of snow stop them. They trekked down from NY on Friday, just in time for bedtime. Of course that delayed bedtime until well after 9 pm. Annoyingly, if TPT goes to bed especially late, she always gets up much earlier than usual. That morning was no different -- they were trekking downstairs at 6 am, much to our dismay. Quite a bit of Saturday was spent in the snow -- everyone except me. Wasn't up to that. They tried sledding, which didn't quite work out. They tunneled in the snow. They made a snow fort. All in something like 3 feet of snow. Crazy people. But I love them.

These are the friends whose house we were visiting last summer, when TheHusband went to the ER with possible appendicitis (it wasn't). Three summers ago, when we were staying with them, TPT had to get stitches. She was jumping on the bed with their OlderGirl and fell, hitting her face on the headboard. Two summers ago, TH lost his glasses in the lake, when he was standing on a dock, sneezed, and ploomp went his glasses into the water. Never to be seen again, mind you. I am surprised that they ever let us come visit or even want to see us. This past weekend was no exception. TH got food poisoning. His Saturday evening was spent either doing nasty stuff in the bathroom or sleeping in the recliner. Sigh. Not the best of visits.

Next time we visit them, I'm leaving TH home.

Lots of snow and the electricity carrot

2010-02-20T06:00:00.002-05:00

So I haven't been blogging much lately (duh). This is due to a combination of inertia, work overload, and general crabbiness. If I'm crabby, I see no reason to share it, even if misery loves company.

Also, we were slammed with snow. Snoverload 2.0. Snowmaggedon. Snobliteration. SnowhelpmeGod. Whatever you want to call it.

We got almost 3 feet of snow in the space of about 24 hours on Feb 5-6. I know that the Minnesotans, Alaskans, and Michiganders who read my blog aren't fazed by that amount of snow, but for heaven's sake, this is Montgomery County MD. Where they have a total of like 15 snowplows. And a policy to plow the main roads down to wet pavement before entering into the neighborhoods.

This wouldn't have been a big deal, but my neighborhood lost power sometime that Friday night. We were trapped, because I couldn't slog through almost 3 feet of snow. We have a fireplace, but it does nothing to warm the house. We have a gas stove and a gas hot water heater. But it was too cold to take showers, because we couldn't dry our hair. And coming out of the warm shower into the frigid bathroom was painful. A bunch of our neighbors bailed by walking (slogging) through the snow about a half mile to a main road where they had someone pick them up. Not us.

We stayed. It got really cold. By Sunday, the house was the same temp as the outside. It wasn't so bad during the daytime, but the nights were horrendous. I have never been able to sleep with the covers over my face; I feel like I'm suffocating. But I couldn't sleep with my face out of the covers. because it was too freaking cold. So I didn't really sleep.

Sunday was especially hard, because the power came back on for 30 minutes, then went back off. Up to that time, ThePinkThing had been the model of good behavior. After the electricity carrot had been dangled in front of our faces then yanked away, she had an absolute tantrum. The laying-on-the-floor-and-kicking-her-feet kind of tantrum. I didn't blame her. In fact, I had a small tantrum later that night, when I was literally shaking with cold, unable to sleep and completely miserable. I just waited until I was alone to have it.

We were finally plowed and shoveled out on Monday and went to relatives in the next town. They had heat. And light. And food. And their 5 year-old granddaughter, who was ecstatic to see another kid. And a comfy bed without 5 layers of blankets and 3 layers of clothing. I was actually hot at first. I felt bad about leaving the cats behind, because they are pampered inside-creatures who were confused as to why we were freezing them near to death.

The power came back on on Tuesday afternoon, after almost 4 days. It happened to come back on while we were home picking up the cats. TheHusband was going to take them to the vet to board them while we stayed with our relatives. But then the electricity carrot was offered once again, and this time it wasn't cruelly taken away. We waited 2 hours before committing to stay at home. No biggie, you say -- we could escape if the power went out again. Yeah, but you see we had another blizzard on Wed 2/10. Howling winds, whiteout conditions, another foot-plus of snow. But thankfully this was lighter, fluffier snow. Not the heavy wet stuff of the prior weekend. Our power stayed on. Some neighborhood kids came by and asked if we want to be shoveled out around noon on Thursday (YES!). The street was plowed sometime that evening. We survived.

We learned something too. We need to have either a generator or a kerosene heater, just in case this happens again. I want to buy some old-fashioned hot water bottles. Since we have a gas hot water heater, we could fill them and be a bit warmer at night. I realize that I will never live in Alaska, Minnesota, Vermont, or anywhere where they get boatloads of snow. I'm just too wimpy to handle it.

Bad patient

2010-02-19T20:49:00.003-05:00

I've been a bad patient lately. I still haven't started physical therapy, a month after the neurosurgeon instructed me to. Work has been busy, and I never seem to remember to call during daylight hours. But I called today, and I'll be starting in about 10 days. I know that going back to work full-time in January set me back some -- I had no transition. I had been working 2 hours per day, then BLAM! I was working 8 hours. Given my current position, it has been hard to work a reduced schedule. Everyone wants something from me. And if they don't want it now, they want it tomorrow. It's nice to be popular, but there are limits.

But this isn't why I am a bad patient. I am about to willfully disregard the instructions from one of my doctors. If y'all remember, I had a deep vein thrombosis in my right leg, part of which migrated to my left lung (pulmonary embolus) as a bonus a week after the surgery. That blood clot bought me 6 months on rat poison ... er, I mean a blood thinner (Coumadin or warfarin). They want my level between 2.0 and 3.0. It's been 2.5 or 2.6 since early December, and I have forgotten my Coumadin dose only twice since I started taking the stuff. The hematologist put me on a crazy regimen -- 6 mg on Sun and Wed and 4 mg the rest of the days. But it clearly works, since my levels have been perfect. Today I had my blood checked, and the result was 2.8. I figured that he'd leave the dose alone. But I got a call from the nurse this afternoon instructing me to increase the dose to 6 mg alternating with 4 mg. I thought what the hell? but didn't say that out loud. I asked her if she was sure if that was correct, as my levels have been rock-solid on the other dose. She said that that is what she was instructed to tell me.

I have an appointment with the hematologist this upcoming Thursday, and I have decided to ignore his instruction. I am going to keep taking the Coumadin as I have been until I talk with him. I am not sure if I received instructions meant for a different patient, which would make sense. I have enough medical knowledge (duh) to make my own decisions, although I hate it when my own patients do that. We'll see what he says on Thursday.

Fighting over Fresca

2010-02-01T06:00:00.005-05:00

I love Fresca. You know, that kinda tart, grapefruity soda that people either love or hate. I think more people than not hate it, but I've loved it since I was a kid. My mom would drink it sometimes, and I would snitch some from the bottle (I wonder if she ever figured that out...).

I am not a big soda drinker at all -- soda's fizziness annoys me and makes me burpy. But I do keep a 12 pack of Fresca in the house for those times when I want some soda. (aside -- TheHusband, OTOH, is a total soda-hound, with Pepsi being his libation of choice.) Funnily enough, it came out the year I was born, so we will both be 44 this year. Yay, us!

Prior to 2005, Fresca (at least in the US) came in only one flavor -- grapefruit. In 2005, black cherry/citrus and peach/citrus were added. I think that the black cherry version is an abomination (and I usually like black cherry stuff), but I adore the peach-flavored Fresca. If I had to rank the Fresca flavors, it would be 1st--peach/citrus, 2nd--citrus (original grapefruit), and a far distant 3rd is the cherry version (blech). Oddly, there are other flavors marketed in non-US markets, including a frightening-sounding "grapefruit mint". Grapefruit mint? WTF?

Anyway, there is a sort of point to this discourse on Fresca. It involves a fight over a single can of Fresca. About 4 years ago, I had the great pleasure to attend a real Hollywood premiere of a movie. I know the person who wrote and directed that movie very well and was honored (and totally juiced) to be invited. I flew out to LA from MD on a Tuesday evening, attended the premiere on Wednesday night, and flew back the next day. A whirlwind.

But not only did I get to go to this premiere, I got to go in the limo with writer/director, his family and other friends. One of the other people in the limo was my brother (of the bicycling-across-America fame). I think I've been in a limo only two other times in my life (other than the beaten up ones that take you to-and-from airports in NYC area). This was a king of limos -- a white, stretch Cadillac Escalade. The damn thing was as big as a Rose Bowl Parade float and had about the same turning radius. Only slightly worse than my Mazda station wagon, actually, but that's a separate issue. I needed a freaking stool to get into it, because I am short and it was HUGE.

There were about 10 people in the limo on the way to the premiere. We cracked open a bottle of champagne, but I, my brother, and the writer/director really don't drink alcohol. Not from any moral reasons on my part -- more because I just never really developed a taste besides get-drunk-on-it-while-in-college. Then we discovered a can of Fresca. And a fight ensued. Between me, my brother, and his friend Nina. Literally. Each of us wanted the Fresca. For our own. Grudgingly, we split the can amongst the three of us, while the rest of the passengers probably looked on with bemusement. "Fresca instead of good champagne? What the hell is wrong with them?" is probably what they were thinking. But, yes, Fresca over reasonably good champagne. And no regrets.

And I watched the movie with my eyes closed, because it was a scary movie, and I'm a wimp. The Fresca didn't fix that.

Recovery Stuff and the Lack of Blogging

2010-01-31T06:00:00.001-05:00

Hello? Hello? Anybody there?

Yes, somebody's here. Just not blogging frequently. Or even occasionally. One other post in January does not count as "occasionally". But I will get back to it, I promise.

The recovery from the surgery has been much slower than I expected and than I like. I returned to work full-time on January 5th. I had been working only 2-3 hours/day from home in December, and then we had our Florida/cruise adventures. We returned to MD on Sunday January 3, I took a necessary recovery day on Jan 4, and then worked from home on January 5 and 6. January 7 was my first day back in the office. I had intended to ease back in, but that hasn't been the case. I've been back at full-time since then. Not really much of a transition, and it has definitely impacted the recovery. But I really do like my job, so that isn't that much of a burden.

I am to start physical therapy while I am still in the brace (which makes me look sort of like a weird Mutant Ninja Turtle). We'll see how that goes. I am still using a cane, which I HATE. But at least it isn't a walker, and I am trying to wean myself from it -- using it for longer distances and outside).

I am supposed to wear the brace for 3 months post-op, but the 3-month mark is next week (Feb 4). Can you believe that? SpineDoc will be receiving a phone call on Feb 4, as we aren't scheduled for a visit until the end of March. I want out of this thing, but only if it won't impede the damn fusion. The blood clot has not ever again been symptomatic, and I should only be on the blood thinner (aka rat poison) until early May. My levels have been beautifully consistent (2.5 or 2.6, with the target between 2 and 3) on my current dose.

Someday I will stop walking like a zombie. That was actually a topic of conversation I had with RehabDoc a couple of weeks ago. RehabDoc is handling my rehabilitation. He is a very formal but relaxed kinda guy. We address each other as "Doctor" at his request, even though we are about the same age and work in similar fields. He doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor.

The following is a reasonable transcript of the end of our recent visit:

RehabDoc: Well, it looks like everything is going along nicely. The symptoms related to the L2-3 compression have resolved. (It was probably even more Med-Speak-ish than that.)
NeuronDoc: The back still hurts. I am not really enjoying that.
RD: Give it time. You are only a little over 2 months post-op.
ND: Is this where I should be at this point?
RD (not really sighing, but close) Yes, you are recovering well. Give it time.
ND: Okay. But when am I going to stop walking like a zombie? This Frankenstein-gait is really annoying me.
RD (completely deadpan): Give that another 6-8 weeks. The scarring and fusion need to progress a bit before your gait will improve. Then you should stop walking like a zombie. However, I can't promise that you won't be attacked by a zombie in the future and then start shambling around like one again. That would be completely unrelated to the current issue.

That made me laugh for hours.

Almost unspeakably crappy day for a friend

2010-01-17T21:25:00.003-05:00

You know, there are times that I just have to be thankful that I have a roof over my head. A friend of mine today lost his. His roof, the rest of his house and his pets, actually, in a fire. Apparently the fire occurred while he and his family were at church, and no human lives were lost. It is unclear if the place is a total loss, what can be salvaged, what his family has beyond the clothes on their backs. Shawn and his family are in my thoughts tonight. If you are interested in helping, you can go here and chip in to help them out.

I am off to burn copies of all of my digital pictures and send the discs to my mom in NJ. Just in case.

A stop in Savannah (with bonus)

2009-12-26T08:33:00.005-05:00

I enjoy meeting internet friends in Real Life. After all, I met my best friend and my husband online. So far I haven't met an axe murderer, although my parents were half-convinced TheHusband was one before they met him ("he has tattoos!").

This year, I had a Christmas Eve present awaiting me in Savannah -- a meet-up with an internet friend, a fellow member of the sooper seekrit organization, the UCF. This friend prefers to remain anonymous, so I won't spill any info. I will, however, provide the picutre we took of TheHusband, MWT, me, and ThePinkThing.

It was fun, funny, yummy, and I'm sorry that MWT won't be in Savannah on the day we pass back through.

Now it's off to our real vacation. See you in a bit...

Snoverload

2009-12-20T16:26:00.003-05:00

Snoverload: an overload of snow.

Granted for the DC metro area, 7 inches of snow is a snoverload, but this is really insane. We totally got walloped with snow. TheHusband measured in two places in our yard and we got 29 inches of snow. Yes, yes, that includes drifting, but still, it is a ridiculously large amount of snow. The official amount is about 16 inches at National Airport, but that really doesn't reflect real life here in the DC Metro area. I am hoping that we are plowed out by Wednesday. Schools have been closed for tomorrow, and I expect that they will be closed again on Tuesday. I think Wednesday is a half day, so they punt that day, too. ThePinkThing thinks the snow is great (she and TheHusband had a snowball fight and tromped up and down the street this morning). I wish I was up to playing outside in the snow, but since I am still using the cane (and walker for longer walks), that is not in the cards. Boo. She is ecstatic at the thought of a snow day tomorrow. "I like learning, Mommy, but sometimes it's fun to not have school", she just told me. Maybe my place of employment will be closed tomorrow, since I'd like a snow day, too.

TheHusband has cleared the walkway completely, cleared his car off, and made a teeny little path along the edge of the driveway next to both cars. Since we live on a one-block long street with no streets behind us, I don't expect a plow to come through until tomorrow. He decided to bag any further shoveling until tomorrow for that reason.

As I said: snoverload.
____________________
Updated 8:28 pm

Hot damn. My office is closed tomorrow, so I get a snow day too. Yay, me!

Let It Snow

2009-12-19T21:11:00.006-05:00

Ah to be 6 again, during a big snow storm. It is much simpler and more fun.

I am worrying about being unable to help TheHusband clean off the cars (much less even touch the shovel), how he's going to shovel the 18+ inches of snow without having his back go out, and if I'll actually be able to get out of the house on Tuesday for my appointment. ThePinkThing was only thinking about fun. FUN! Snow! Eat snow, swim in snow, make snow angels (including one in the middle of our street), roll down the lawn in the snow, throw snow at Daddy, etc.

I think she has the right way of it... Perhaps I'll go out and eat some snow. :-)

Eating snow

A hand towel as makeshift ear-muffs

Butt-high snow by 5 pm

Shivery-cold

This is as far as I got

Our lonely street

Below knee-high at around noon

Well above the knees at 5 pm

Afterwards -- footie PJ's

Nothing much to say

2009-12-14T20:58:00.001-05:00

Really nothing much to say lately. Recovery is going along, not as fast as I would like, but not any slower than the neurosurgeon is expecting. I just want it to be over and done with. I am not good at this patience gig. But thankfully I am no worse, and there have been no further sequelae from the blood clots.

Fun with phone menus

2009-12-04T10:21:00.002-05:00

Call 1-800-295-0051. When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, don't choose either one, wait about 10 seconds, listen to the options and press 4. Then press 7 in the next set of options. If your phone has a mute button use it, because any noise (including laughter) resets it.

I literally howled with laughter.

No mother-in-law blues for me

2009-12-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

By nature I am a people-pleaser. I am the kind of person who wants people to like me, and I like people in general. When someone doesn't like me, I feel bad/sad/worried. If I am in a situation in which I want to especially please people, unfortunately, I tend to become tongue-tied and nervous.

This brings me to my mother-in-law. I want my mother-in-law to like me. I really want that. She's never exhibited any behavior that makes me think otherwise, but I am still (after over 9 years of marriage) worried that I might say or do something to make her not like me. So I tend to be overly nervous around my MiL, say stupid things, and occasionally behave like a dolt. Mostly because I want her to like me. Add that to a constitutional inability to ask people for help, and you get sort of a mental quagmire. But I waded through it, called up my MiL (who has never been anything but nice to me, remember), and asked if she would come help us.

She immediately agreed and arrived this past Monday. My MiL is not a traveler. She likes to stay close to home. Her usual visits are about 36 hours, which inevitably make ThePinkThing grumpy (why can't Grammy stay longer?) and sad. But this time my MiL stayed for 3 days. And it was great. Fabulous. Wonderful. She entertained TPT (in actuality, TH and I tend to become invisible when Grammy is around), yakked with me during the day, cleaned stuff up, had lots of chat-time with her son, and was a boon to the household.

I can't thank her enough for taking the time away from work to come and mother/grandmother this household, which was sorely in need of it.

And now, perhaps, I will be less nervous around my MiL, and our relationship will be easier.

Note that my MiL reads this blog -- I am not writing this for her or for daughter-in-law brownie points. I am already her favorite DiL (okay, I am her only DiL, so the competition is not fierce). I am writing this because the visit went so well that I wanted to comment on how I hope it helps me get over my overly-nervous behavior around her (no, my MiL will not eat me) and that things will be better in the future. Which is deserving of a "YAY!"

Happy neurosurgeon is a happy patient

2009-12-02T06:00:00.003-05:00

Saw the neurosurgeon on Monday. He is pleased with my recovery so far. I am recovering as quickly as he was expecting me to (barring the bonus DVT and PE). The level of back pain is exactly as he expected. He wants me to see the rehab doc and start planning outpatient rehab.

There is only one thing about my recovery that I don't agree with and really can't stand. He expects me to be off work until January. Ummm, no -- can't do that. I'll go totally nuts. But he understands my need to get back to work, being a doctor himself. So I will try to work from home for a couple of hours a day beginning next Monday (12/7). I suspect that my supervisor and coworkers will be happy. I won't reappear at the office until after the new year, but I need to get back to work. Need to. I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things...

I am a statistic

2009-12-01T06:00:00.005-05:00

It's really difficult to identify how many medical mistakes occur each year, even during hospitalizations. There was a study published in 2000 by the Institute of Medicine that estimated that 98,000 patients die in American hospitals each year due to medical errors. But these numbers are really difficult to substantiate -- and nobody has a clue as to how many survivable medical mistakes occur.

I know that I have made incorrect diagnoses on more than one occasion (hello, that is why we have 2nd opinions...), but I do not believe that any of my errors have directly led to the death of a patient. The closest I came was during residency, when I forgot to order DVT (deep vein thrombosis -- blood clot in the deep veins of the legs) precautions in a new stroke patient. DVT precautions haven't changed in the past 15 years -- compression stockings and/or compression boots (boot thingies that inflate and deflate, squeezing and relaxing the calf and thigh muscles). If for some reason these methods are unacceptable, then the docs use low-dose blood thinners.

Well, I forgot to order the compression boots, and in the middle of the night on this patient's 4th post-stroke day, she suddenly developed shortness of breath and low oxygenation. Not only had she developed a DVT, she had also developed a pulmonary embolus (PE) -- when a piece of the clot in the leg breaks off, moves upstream in the venous system and ends up in the lung(s). Thankfully, the patient survived, although her stroke recovery was not very good (and unrelated to the DVT/PE, most likely). However, I never forgot DVT precautions on any patient thereafter.

This leads to my recent hospital experience.

Post-operatively, I was given SCD's (the compression boots) and compression stockings. However, I literally couldn't stand the damn squeezing of those boots -- inflate, deflate, inflate, deflate. It was making me crazy, to the point where I literally ripped them off my legs. I told the nurse that I refused to wear them, that I couldn't stand it. I have no idea if she passed on this incident to the neurosurgical PA's or not. If she didn't, then she should have ("bad patient in room 3004 is NOT cooperating with the DVT precautions"). If she did report it, nothing was done about it, and something should have been. That leads to the reason why my hospitalization was 14 days instead of 5 or 6.

You see, I developed some mild right leg pain on day 5 or 6, but on day 7, my right leg began to hurt like hell -- worse than my back post-op and worse than the left leg pre-op. It was a different pain, sort of crampy, and drawing up. I told the nurse who passed it on to the neurosurgical PA. The leg wasn't swollen when compared to the other one, but the PA ordered an ultrasound to rule out a blood clot. "Just in case."

Now we all know how hard it is to get any useful information about a test from a technician. Try asking the MRI tech what your MRI showed, and they always say something like "the radiologist has to review it first." I wasn't going to accept any answer like that from the ultrasound technician. So I played the doctor card -- I said that I fully well understood that a physician would provide the final reading of the ultrasound but that I also knew she did this day in and day out. She actually capitulated and told me that yes there was a clot extending from the calf to the lower thigh in the right leg. Fuck, I thought. Fuckfuckfuck. Literally, by the time I got back up to my room, the nurses and the PA already had the final reading which was still "clot."

One treats clots like these with blood thinners, to prevent spread of the clot or pieces breaking off and lodging in less pleasant places. I was started on a drug I'd never heard of (Arixtra), which was supposed to get me fully anti-coagulated within 24 hours. "Fine" I thought. At that point I was placed on bedrest, which was not much more activity than I was actually doing. Except bedrest meant no bathroom privileges, and I had to use the dreaded bedpan. 'Nuff said about that.

Later that evening, around 11 pm, I awoke with left-sided chest pain, shortness of breath, and heart palpitations. I knew exactly what was going on, and for the first time, being a doctor was a major detriment. You see, I realized that a chunk of the clot had broken off, traveled up through the venous system and ended up in my left lung. Nobody could poo-poo me, or say "everything'll be alright", because I knew exactly what a pulmonary embolus was and that I was in danger for my life. They put me on oxygen which thankfully made the oxygen saturation of my blood go from about 84% on room air to 100% on oxygen. Someone finally got an IV in me and they gave me morphine which helped the chest pain. I was transferred to an intermediate care unit, which they do for all patients with pulmonary emboli (the blood clot to the lung). I called TheHusband and tried to minimize the situation. However, he consulted the University of Google ("blood clot, leg, lung") and found out a lot more than I wanted him to. He then spent a sleepless night.

I remained on the Arixtra and Coumadin (warfarin, aka rat poison) was added -- it is the only effective oral blood thinner available on the market. Eventually I had 98-100% oxygen saturation on room air, and the blood was thinning out nicely, so I was finally discharged, about a week after I should have been.

So even though I am a doctor, paranoid to the max about medical stuff, was being taken care of by an experienced medical team and an excellent neurosurgeon, I am also a medical statistic. A medical mistake. And because of my inability to tolerate the compression boots, I almost died, and now I'll be on blood thinners for the next 6 months at least. But I am grateful and thankful and lucky and happy to still be around...

Happy Birthday Mom!

2009-11-30T06:00:00.001-05:00

Today is my mom's birthday. I am taking the time to wish her a happy natal day, at least in part because if she weren't here, I wouldn't be. :-)

Thanks for being my help when I needed you, especially earlier this month when I was in hospital.

Have a happy day, and many more!

More RED

2009-11-29T14:18:00.013-05:00

This year's plans for Thanksgiving were completely bollixed up by the back surgery I had earlier this month. My extended family gets together every 3rd year, so we have begun to go to my in-laws for Turkey Day the other two years. This year would have been the 2nd in a row spent with my in-laws, which they did not mind in the least. Unfortunately, I was unable to handle that long of a car ride, and I was not quite well enough to be left here by myself. So we had to cancel our plans. TheHusband and ThePinkThing went to local extended family, and a friend came over and spent the afternoon with me. It worked out beautifully. TPT played with her 4 year-old cousin, TH had some adult conversation, and I had a completely relaxing and uncomplicated Turkey Day with a friend. I wish, in a way, that all of my Thanksgiving holidays were that relaxed.

But even though I have basically gone through hell during my hospitalization, I felt like TheHusband really deserved something special because he's had to deal with me in all my emotionally freaky glory these past 3 weeks.

So I arranged for a delivery of RED. RED? you ask. Yes, RED. RED soda -- that cheap stuff that TH loves, that can only be found in the Cleveland Ohio area -- Cotton Club's Cherry Strawberry soda. One of my coworkers went home to the Cleveland area for Thanksgiving, and I arranged for him to bring back some of it. It turns out that he brought back a whole boatload of the stuff. Here you see the haul -- the product of a visit to 2 different stores. Please note that one can is missing. It's already been opened, sampled, finished, and found very acceptable. I'm betting that ten 2 liter bottles and 48 cans last about a month and a half.

Many thanks to my coworker (who even refused payment). I may have to take him out for sushi in compensation (mmm, sushi). Once I am up and about.

I really have great coworkers...

Early morning emergency (including crying)

2009-11-22T15:38:00.003-05:00

(Scene: 7:20 am, my bedroom, TheHusband and I asleep.)

ThePinkThing (standing at TH's side of the bed): Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
TheHusband: Wuh. Huh?
TPT: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
TH: Whassa matter? What's wrong?
TPT: You ate my Halloween candy!!
TH (brain clearly still gummy): I only ate 3 pieces.
TPT: That was MY candy. And you ate more than that. You ate like 50 pieces.
TH: No, I didn't eat 50 pieces of your Halloween candy. I ate a few pieces last night.
TPT: Waaah! That's my candy, not yours.
TH: Okay, I won't eat anymore of your Halloween candy.

(pause)

TPT: Will you turn on The Magic School Bus for me?

(pause while TH goes downstairs then returns)

TH: Do you know that she found and looked in the random bag that I hid the candy wrappers? How the heck did she find that? And it's not like she'd have eaten the Almond Joys anyway...

--For a change, there was a household emergency that did not involve me.--

Home

2009-11-18T20:59:00.004-05:00

I am finally home after a two week-long stay in the hospital (it was supposed to be 4 or 5 days). I will likely post a summary of my hospital experience, although I think I need to get a bit physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger first.

To those of you who sent good wishes, emails, texts (especially the ones about muppet fornication), flowers, and/or called me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You all made an incredibly rough and sometimes scary two weeks more tolerable.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Hepped Up on Goofballs!

2009-11-08T15:11:00.007-05:00

Hello all,

Here I am hepped-up on goof balls during post-op day four.

Just a note to let you all know I am doing better now that I am VERY medicated and will hopefully be moving to in-patient rehab soon. I will probably remain in the hospital for at least another week but I am making slow and steady progress.

Thanks to everyone who has called, emailed, sent wishes. These things have really helped me mentally and have improved my mood greatly. I will try and stay in touch through the web but I literally can only stay awake and aware for very brief periods of time.

Todays post is only possible via TheHusband who is typing this out. In fact I may nod off and some additional statements may be made without my knowledge or consent. Good thing I like him.

My husband is the most wonderful, kind-hearted, good looking, smartest A1 tip-top terrific person on the face of the planet! I worship the ground he walks on and will always follow his requests and wishes unquestionably!

In the holding pen

2009-11-04T09:50:00.002-05:00

Just sitting here in the pre-op waiting room, hooked up to IV's.

Will be taken back for surgery in about 15 minutes, am hoping to wake up about 3 hours later having no memory of the time passing.

To my fellow UCFers, I have declined ALL of your suggested implants as has the staff here at the hospital for some reason.

Will see you all tomorrow, while on drugs

Dear Good Friend who is a Giants fan (you know who you are),

2009-11-01T16:40:00.002-05:00

I may not be a football fan, but even I know that the Giants got shellacked today. By the Eagles, no less. Good thing we didn't come up to visit this weekend, or I might have had to dodge thrown objects.

Also, good thing that we've been friends for so long, because I am sure I'll pay for this blog post at some point.

Love,
Me

Halloween on parade

2009-10-30T15:33:00.003-04:00

Halloween at ThePinkThing's school. Why yes, I snuck out of work to see the parade...

ThePinkThing as a cheetah (she insists she's a cheetah, not a leopard)

BFFs

That'll learn me

2009-10-30T06:00:00.001-04:00

'Nuff said.

TheHusband's home!

2009-10-29T16:40:00.001-04:00

His flight got in 45 minutes early, and since he had no checked bags, he zipped through the airport. I've decided to leave work and go see him.

(And I finally posted something that wasn't whiny or pathetic!)

Bonus Illness

2009-10-28T19:45:00.003-04:00

Woke up with severe belly pain last night. After trying to pretend it wasn't that bad, I finally had to go to the ER. Not as easy as it sounds with TheHusband still in Rome. I tried calling a friend, but she didn't answer her phone. I finally called the only family I have in the area -- my cousin's in-laws. They are amazingly wonderful people who didn't bat an eyelash when they got a call at 2:45 am. They both came over. Bev stayed at the house so that there was someone here for Allison, and Ben came to the ER with me. It was very comforting for me to know that Allison was safe and that I had someone there for me, too.

It turned out to be a kidney stone. Like I need another painful malady. I mean WTF? I can report that pain from a kidney stone is worse than that from a herniated disc. Not that I really wanted to know that, mind you.

I got home around 6:40 am, all drugged up. I called a coworker at around 8:30 to tell him what happened and that I would make it in for a meeting at 1 pm. Not long after that my boss called and told me to be real, stay home, and take care of myself. So I did. I still feel generally crappy but not as bad as I did earlier. The friend who I couldn't reach last night is sleeping here tonight, just in case. I am hoping that Murphy's Law kicks in. Since I am planning for something bad to happen, nothing will...

I can't wait until TheHusband is home (tomorrow).

BrainSurgeons and a Bionic Back

2009-10-27T06:00:00.001-04:00

So I went to see a BrainSurgeon. Actually, I have seen two different BrainSurgeons and another NeuroDoc in the past few weeks. I guess, since the issue is my spine, that I should really call them SpineSurgeons, but BrainSurgeon is just that much more nerve-wracking. Nerve wracking -- get it? No? Fine, be that way.

Anyway, I initially saw BrainSurgeon1 on Oct 6. He's a good surgeon, and I have referred patients to him for 12 years. In fact, he operated on TheHusband's ruptured disc several years ago. He is extremely personable (yes, yes, he's a surgeon -- shocking, isn't it?). But he didn't listen to me and my concerns. We had a nice conversation -- we talked for about 45 minutes. However, much of that was him talking about using a dynamic stabilization device as part of the fusion procedure. Given that FDA has ordered companies that market these devices to conduct post-market studies in order to evaluate reported serious adverse events, I was understandably leery. But he just barrelled on, when I voiced my concerns. Given my other gait and spine related issues, I really think that these systems are a Bad Idea™. I am sure that no surgeon likes working on other doctors, especially one who is in a related field and Has Opinions. But those opinions should be listened to and acknowledged.

So after that exam, I spoke with a very nice and really smart Hopkins neurosurgery resident that I know. I showed him my MRI, described my symptoms, and asked him who he would let operate on his back if it looked my mine and he felt like I do. He gave me a name, called up BrainSurgeon2, and asked if he would see me. So I had an appointment with a Hopkins neurosurgeon within two weeks of that discussion. To be honest, BrainSurgeon2 works part-time at Hopkins and the rest at another Baltimore hospital. I tromped up there with MRI in hand last Monday. He took a history and did a quick neuro exam (very quick -- he's a neurosurgeon). Then he and I got down to brass tacks. He agreed with BrainSurgeon1 in that I need a spinal fusion (eeek!) as well as decompression of that freaking nerve root that is being compressed. He did not think that a dynamic stabilization device was a good idea (yay!), although he did have some other off-label device uses to suggest (NO!).

He then called up a NeuroDoc to see if he could fit me in soon. Turned out that NeuroDoc and I worked together a few years ago, so I got in 2 days later. Unfortunately, NeuroDoc zapped me with electric shocks and stuck needles in me, making me not like him quite as much as I once had. I swear that this is a test which is much better to perform on others than to have done on oneself. Conclusion: "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and is near a pond, it is a duck." He had to stick needles in me to come to that conclusion?

Given my sensitivity to medications, drugs to treat neuropathic pain are not an option. I've failed the majority of other conservative treatments (all those NeedleDoc appointments were in vain). So surgery it is. And thankfully I have health insurance (I will not mosey on down that conversational road right now -- I think that I am about as liberal as Eric in that respect).

So having received a 2nd opinion that I like better than the 1st one, and having failed conservative therapy, AND having refused a bionic back, I will undergo a single-level lumbar spinal fusion next week. Now all I have to do is convince myself that I won't die under anesthesia, wake up paralyzed, be worse off than I was before the surgery, or wake up during the surgery.

I haven't met the anesthesiologist yet -- I will certainly have some suggestions for him or her... Why do I suspect that I will be a really annoying hospital patient?

And let's not even go into the insanity that will be me when I am stuck at home for a few weeks.

Cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze

2009-10-26T22:04:00.000-04:00

Your public health notice for the day. You're welcome.

A really nice wife

2009-10-23T06:00:00.001-04:00

That's me -- a really nice wife.

One of TheHusband's friends was heading to Rome for business, and called TH for advice about 2 weeks ago. TH lived in southern Italy (Brundisi) for a few years in the mid 80's, when he was in the Navy. He, being the adventurous sort, rented a room with a family instead of living in the barracks. They wanted to learn English, and he wanted to get away from his fellow-sailors. It turned out that they never learned much English, but TH ended up speaking Italian fluently. He went back once in the mid 90's (before we met).

So anyway, back to his friend. The friend was really incredibly freaked out about visiting Italy (hello, it's not Yemen, Somalia, or Afghanistan). I was listening vaguely to TH's side of the conversation and finally said "Why don't you just go and meet up with him in Rome? You'll have a nice adventure and calm down HF." So we looked up flights, and he got a reasonably priced fare. He left last night, with a laptop bag and a moderate-sized shoulder bag (God knows, I can't travel that lightly). He should have landed about 4 hours ago. He gets to stay in Rome for a week, returning next Thursday.

See -- I am a nice wife. But he'd better bring me back a nice present, or maybe I won't be quite so nice... :-)

Happy Birthday...

2009-10-22T12:00:00.003-04:00

... to the BEST BROTHER ever! Thanks for being the best brother I could ever want. I only wish that you lived closer than 3000+ miles away.

Enjoy your day. Your yearly musical interlude (TPT singing "Happy Birthday") will come later.

Prehistoric Spam

2009-10-22T06:00:00.000-04:00

I wonder if TheHusband actually missed out on $100,000 about 25 years ago...

Why no, he never throws things out. Except the telegram the spam-pen came with...

What She Said

2009-10-21T06:00:00.002-04:00

You know, I really can't add a thing to this article. I only wish that the morons of the world (ahem, Jenny McCarthy) would read it with an open mind and actually learn something. But then again, pigs'd fly first. Instead, credulous people choose to believe in crackpot theories and revile people who work hard to reduce sickness in the world. Oh, and make death threats against them. Why oh why, do people actually listen to Jenny instead of Amy?

Truly -- while people believe that they are exercising their rights to make their own medical decisions and appropriate medical decisions for their children, inadequate immunization brings a great deal of risk to the population as a whole, as well as to each individual person. Herd immunity is a function of a large enough percent of the population being vaccinated -- if that number too low, herd immunity disappears. You need quite a high percentage of population vaccinated to provide herd immunity for the community. For example, measles and pertussis are rather contagious and may require up to 94% of the population to be vaccinated for that vaccine to confer herd immunity.

Herd immunity confers protection to those who either can't receive a vaccine due to health reasons (immunocompromised, cancer, chemotherapy, infants) or people whose vaccines have failed (they don't "take" in everyone). Therefore, when these "concerned parents" choose not to vaccinate their children, they are actually endangering the health of other parents' kids, even if those kids are vaccinated. So while part of me says "fuck you, evil parents who don't vaccinate their kids, your kids'll pay for it", in reality, it is those who are sick and vulnerable that bear the brunt of these people's folly.

RIF and the pneumatic gun

2009-10-19T22:13:00.001-04:00

Just for Jim, from TheHusband's copy of "Rudder"...

The recruit getting his skanky teeth brushed is TheHusband. Note the BC glasses and the gorgeous hair style, courtesy of the US government -- for free! The poor guy getting vaccinated is a random cohort of TH's, name unknown.

Harriet the Homemaker tackles laundry soap

2009-10-15T11:57:00.005-04:00

We bought a new washer and dryer a couple of months ago. In general, I have been very pleased with both. The washer produces clean clothes, and the dryer gives me warm fluffy dry clothes. Our prior washing machine developed a mold problem, which I was never able to get rid of. Apparently mold is not uncommon in front-loading washers, and the way to deal with it is to prevent it. One way is to use HE laundry detergent. These are low sudsing products that are more easily rinsed from the items in the washer, produce pess residue and clog up the lines less. While there is something innately satisfying about a sudsy wash, it isn't the suds that clean the clothes.

Basically, the workhorse component of laundry detergent is a surfactant. Surfactants are molecules that have hydrophilic and hydrophobic ends. The hydrophilic end is attracted to water molecules, and the hydrophobic end tends to stick to non-water molecules – in the case of dirty laundry, that’s the dirt or grease or oil. Nothing really constructive happens until the water is swished around. Agitation of the water allows for many of the surfactant molecules to surround the dirt or oil and lift it away from the clothing into the larger pool of water. The warmer the water, the easier it is for the detergent to work.

I also try to use eco-friendly cleaning products. I've been using environmentally-friendly HE liquid laundry detergents for several years now (although by the time I started, it was too late for the other washer), but they are pretty expensive and still leave a residue. The new washer has a delay option, in which I can put the clothes inside and the detergent in the little drawer. But the company strongly recommends powder detergent for the delayed option -- to prevent staining.

Anyway, in an effort to use a reasonably eco-friendly and low sudsing powder laundry detergent appropriate for front-loaders, yesterday I made my own. I scouted out a few recipes online and tried out a relatively simple one:

1 bar Ivory soap, grated
½ cup Borax
½ cup washing soda (NOT baking soda)

Stir the ingredients together and use 1-2 tablespoons per load. This makes about 20-25 tablespoons, and probably costs about 8¢ per load.

I learned some valuable lessons from the experience.

Take care when grating the soap. It is very easy to grate one's fingertips. (ouchy, ouchy)
Don't stick said grated fingertips in one's mouth. Ivory soap tastes pretty nasty.
Dry out the bar of soap for a week before grating it. Apparently, it makes the grating process much easier.
Do not accept assistance from a 6 year old. The process goes much less smoothly.

Even so, the towels came out clean and fresh this morning. I'll let you know how it works on a 6 year old's marker-stained and paint-encrusted clothing.

The Lost Luggage Office

2009-10-10T22:41:00.007-04:00

I know this isn't a new story, but each time I see it, I am amused:

The next freaking time an airline ruins my bag, I will sing a video and post it on Youtube. That ought to make the airline sit up and notice (and run in fear from my tone-deaf singing voice...).

Shuffle off this mortal coil

2009-10-08T16:04:00.004-04:00

Considering that I have always been terrified of drowning (which makes it especially hard for me to deal with ThePinkThing's marginal swimming skills), I'm jiggy with this. Anyway, it's all Jim's idea and Nathan's fault.

How will I die? Your Result: You will die in your sleep. A peaceful departure into the next life. You are blessed with the good fortune of passing from sleep into eternity. Do not fear sleep. To dream into the next life is a rare gift.
You will die of boredom.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die in a car accident.
You will die while having sex.
You will be murdered.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
How will I die? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Missing child?

2009-10-07T16:32:00.004-04:00

I am working from home today, and I got a phone call from ThePinkThing's school about an hour ago.

(ring, ring)
Neurondoc: Hello?
School Secretary: Hello, I am calling from X Elementary School. Is this ThePinkThing's mother?
ND: Yes.
SS: We have her here in the main office. She was supposed to walk home today?
ND: Walk home? No, she doesn't walk home.
SS: Well, we got a phone call from her father earlier today to say that she'd be a "walker" today.
ND: That's not right. She should be at her aftercare program. Are you sure it is ThePinkThing there? (First and last name said slowly and loudly, just in case)
SS: Yes, it is TPT sitting here.
ND: She shouldn't be there. And I guess the buses have left by now.
SS: Yes.
ND: I am a bit confused -- why did you think my daughter would be walking home today? (Mind you, we live almost a mile from the school, and TPT wouldn't be able to find her way home by herself)
SS: I got a call from someone, and I swear he said (insert TPT's first and last names) would be walking home from school.
ND: Okay, I'll be there to get her in a few minutes. What would you have done if I was at work?
SS: We would have taken her to her aftercare program.

(Pick up TPT, who's in the office looking not scared, but a bit bemused. The secretary is trying to figure who was the real kid who was supposed to walk home. As we are getting into my car, my phone rings -- it's TheHusband)

ND: Hello?
TH (in an urgent tone): Where's TPT? Aftercare just called and said she wasn't on the bus.
ND: Ah. She's here in my car. Apparently there was some sort of screw-up at the office and she was told she'd be a "walker" today.
TH: Phew. Okay.

TPT is now at her aftercare program, where her arrival caused a bit of a stir. Several of her friends wanted to know why she was supposed to walk home, why I was bringing her late, where she'd been... I just want to know how pissed the other dad is -- the one who called the office to tell them to have his kid walk home. I bet he'll have a cow on the phone. I certainly would (and sort of did).

This kind of situation highlights all of my worries about having TPT go from one place to another without my (or TH's) direct supervision. And I used the opportunity to reinforce that she shouldn't ever get into a car with a stranger, and who is actually approved to take her home.

Blog vacation

2009-09-29T17:47:00.008-04:00

Things are really stressful right now between boat-freaking-loads of work, my second full-time job (TPT, who is a much more fun job than the first one, but just doesn't pay as well), constant back pain (will be visiting the doctor who slashes with a scalpel next week), visits, visitors, spring cleaning (yes, yes, I know it's autumn), and various other stuff that creeps up and attacks without warning.

Even having the blog is stressful. I want to write stuff, but I am too tired. Then I get annoyed that I haven't blogged. So, in order to reduce my stress by a teensy bit, I am going to take a blog vacation. I should be back in about a month.

However, as an appropriately neurological send-off, I will leave you with the immortal words (and music) of Schoolhouse Rock:

(Although the glaringly obvious neurological mistake in this song annoys me a lot)

When she cries, I hurt inside

2009-09-24T06:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I took ThePinkThing to the allergist. There has always been a potential shellfish allergy hanging over her head. When she was young, we not infrequently went to a local Chinese buffet for dinner. Several times, she developed red spots when we got home. These spots didn't seem to bother her, weren't typical hives, but there was this nagging suspicion that she was allergic to something there. Shellfish seemed the most likely culprit, as the primary reason we went to that restaurant was so that TheHusband could eat lots of crab. Eventually she had a blood test at her pediatrician's office, which turned out "weakly positive". So I finally decided to get her tested for real.

The allergist took a reasonable history and did a quick exam. TPT has never had an ear infection, doesn't have asthma, has no environmental allergies that I am aware of. She is probably the most boring kid he's seen all week. Then came the prick tests. I didn't want to tell her about it prior to the visit, because then she'd just worry and worry. So I told her after the doctor left (coward) and before the medical assistant came in to do the dirty work. TPT was tested for allergies to clams, crabs, shrimp, lobster (thermidor?), and scallops. He also tested her for allergies to wheat, milk, soy, peanuts, and tree-nuts. Why he tested those is beyond me, because she eats wheat, milk, soy, and peanut products with zeal and glee. Not too much in the way of tree-nuts, but not because of allergy. His reasoning for doing the tests was "just to be totally sure", which seemed weak. Probably a combo of CYA medicine and jack-up-the-price medicine. (Why yes, I am cynical. Thank you.) Add in the histamine and saline prick tests, and that meant that she had 14 pricks in her back.

Which comes to the point of the post. She cried. And begged me to stop them from doing it. I held her hand and kissed her head, and told her it would be over soon. After the tech left the room, I told her one of her favorite stories about when she was a baby to distract her for the 20 minutes we had to wait. She wanted me to take this picture so she could see what her back looked like.

The only one that turned up positive was the histamine one (which is done to be sure that the patient can mount an allergic skin response). So crab feast, here we come! TheHusband was ready to hop in the car and go off to Atlantic City to a really amazing all-you-can-eat seafood buffet, but we have plans this weekend, so I nixed that idea. He'll get to eat crabs to his heart's content, as will TPT (hopefully).

Hostess gift

2009-09-22T06:00:00.001-04:00

Wisegeek says that a hostess gift is:

A hostess gift is a gift which is given to the host or hostess of an event by guests. A small hostess gift is generally considered appropriate for dinners and parties, while guests who are staying for several days may get something larger. The ideal hostess gift is tasteful and elegant, reflecting the presumed good taste of the host or hostess, and it is also something which the recipient would not personally buy for him or herself. While the hostess gift might seem like a quaint tradition to some people, it is still alive and well, and bringing a hostess gift to an event will indicate that you are well mannered and that you have been raised in polite society.

What makes a good hostess gift? Flowers -- they're safe, and just about every female likes them. Chocolate? You can't really go wrong with chocolate, but some people are picky about chocolate they eat. Wine is a nice idea but can be troublesome. You run the risk of offending a teetotaler or bringing along an inferior wine to an oenophile's house. And then you look like a dork.

So what do you bring over for a slightly snide, somewhat dry-humored coworker who always enjoys your hi-jinks? Pop Rocks and a marshmallow gun, that's what! We had my coworker over for dinner last night. He's the one who I labeled for the move way back 2 months ago. He's a really funny, witty and smart guy, who ThePinkThing really likes. It might be, in part, because she isn't sure if he is a kid or a grown-up, as she has said. He's 26, so at least legally he's an adult. But he has a marshmallow gun in his office and likes to make people's phones scare the piss out of them.

We played with that marshmallow gun for quite some time. The funniest was when TM (my coworker) acted like one of those ducks in a carnival shooting range, going back and forth, back and forth. And we could even eat the ammunition, which TPT did a lot. As you can imagine, TPT was in 7,000th heaven. Pop rocks and marshmallows? Too good to be true, even though the gun was on loan. But he did leave the bag of marshmallows.

As for dinner -- it came out okay enough. Pot roast, gravy, broccoli and noodles. I thought the pot roast was dry but TH and TM ate up a whole boatload of it. The broccoli was a little overdone, but that was an issue of inattention and poor timing. And the brain jello for dessert. The chicken dinner on Saturday turned out better.

Adventures in Cooking 1

2009-09-20T16:00:00.004-04:00

As I noted in my previous post, it is Rosh Hashanah, or the Jewish new year. It is the start of the High Holidays for observant, and even not-so-observant, Jews. I grew up in a somewhat observant household. We weren't kosher in or out of the house (mmmm, shrimp; mmmm, cheeseburgers), and we did not keep Shabbat. We celebrated the holidays that most Reformed Jewish households celebrated -- the High Holidays, Passover, and Hanukkah. As kids we were dragged ... er, um, I mean went to temple on the High Holidays (specifically Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur -- evening and daytiome services.). But really for us the holidays all revolved around family and food.

I grew up in the same town as my close-in-age cousins and about 20 minutes away from my maternal grandparents. My other cousins on my maternal side lived in VT until I was in college, so their presence at the holidays was not constant (but always pleasing). We alsways had dinner at my grandparents apartment on Rosh Hashanah. Baked chicken, brisket, mashed potatoes baked in chicken fat (beyond amazing, but too scary to eat nowadays due to the instant cholesterol deposition that occurs), kasha varnishkes, my mom's jello mold, nut cake at Passover (drool, drool), chocolate chip cookies, chopped liver... Not all at once, but eaten over a few hours. Sometimes we all ate at the dining room table with it opened all the way. Sometimes there was a separate kids table. Was my grandmother the best cook ever? No, but in my memory, the food was fabulous in every respect.

As I have said before, I find cooking to be scary. I never learned the basics (e.g., to brown meat before cooking it in a liquid so that the juices stay in). I am nervous in the kitchen and tend to follow recipes slavishly. Except that I never plan ahead and have the correct ingredients. So then I have to improvise, making me even more nervous. When I get home at the end of the day, I am not often in the mood to cook -- I am too tired. I swear that TPT thought all cooking was done in the microwave for the first 2 years of her life. But I want to cook. If I cook for us, we will inevitably eat healthier foods, less processed, less salty, less fatty. So I am determined to learn to cook some basic foods and make them well.

Last night I made chicken. All three of us prefer dark meat, so I tend to buy chicken thighs. I had about 3 lbs of chicken thighs to cook, and I wanted it to be extra good (Happy New Year and all that). So I incorporated what I had observed my aunt do when she visited, and also what Claudia did with chicken. While it was a totally simple meal, it came out great!

Basically I browned the chicken on all sides in my wok, then I poured in about 1.5 cups of water and the appropriate amount of bouillon, covered and let it simmer for about 15 minutes. I then made my own gravy for the first time ever. I listened to Claudia and made sure to mix the flour in cold water before mixing it with the drippings. Then I served the chicken and the gravy with noodles. Sliced cucumbers were the vegetable, eaten by TPT and me. Not a fancy meal, and probably not impressive for those of you who cook regularly and well, but an accomplishment for me.

Tonight I am having a coworker over to dinner, and I will be serving pot roast, egg noodles, and broccoli. What's for dessert you ask? Brainzzzzzz, of course. (It is actually peach jello made in a brain jello mold, but that's good enough for me.) I'll tell you how it all came out tomorrow.

Happy Jew Year!

2009-09-19T06:00:00.002-04:00

What?

L'shana tova to all.

Zzzzzzzzzz. Or not.

2009-09-16T15:15:00.005-04:00

(Picture from Abstract City, Christoph Niemann's visual NYTimes blog)

This is literally one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I want to know how Christoph Niemann got inside my bedroom and my head...

I am not a good sleeper. In fact, I often stay up late to make myself so tired that I can fall asleep more easily. In other words, if I am dropping dead tired, I can fall asleep within 20 minutes. Otherwise, all bets are off. A friend pointed me to this NYTimes blog post by an illustrator, and I about bust a gut laughing.

How the hell did he know???

Scammer receives an "F"

2009-09-16T06:00:00.002-04:00

So TheHusband and I are trying to sell our china cabinet and buffet to make room for the new furniture (arriving later this afternoon!). We put an ad up on Craigslist and got 3 responses. I replied to each of these three people. One never responded back. One was so obviously a scammer that I told him that I totally saw through him and to go away.

Here is my email exchange with the third responder:

*****************His response**************

still up for sale?

***************My reply*******************

Yes, they are still for sale. We would love to have them gone by Tuesday evening, because we are getting our new dining room furniture on Wednesday. We are accepting cash only. If you want them you will have get them out of the house yourself (it'll take two people).

Thanks,

***************His response**************

Hello,
I am glad it is still available for sale.I am very much interested in buying your item and i am ok with the price. I am only able to make payment by money order at this time b/c i am away on assignment. Please provide me with your name , address and phone number for payment. It will take about 7days for payment to get to you. As per pick-up, I will make arrangement for the pick-up within 2 business days after payment has been received by you. I don't mind adding thirty dollars so you can keep it in my favor.Please take the posting off craigslist today and consider it sold to me. Thanks

Expecting to hear from you soon.

Regards

(Great, another one of these asswipe scammers, I think to myself. It pissed me off, so I responded thusly)

***************My reply****************************

My name is Natasha Guest. My address is 7359 Wisconsin Ave, Bethesda, MD 20814. My number is (301) 652-9200.

(This name is totally made up -- don't know anyone with this name. The address and phone number are for the Bethesda, MD police station. Ha, I think, go there looking for your money...)

***************His response**************

Hello,
I have given my assistant the go ahead to mail payment to you.You should receive payment within the coming week( 6-7days time).Once payment is received we can proceed with the pickup.Thanks for your understanding and patience.
Regards.

(Hmmm. Could I be wrong, and did I miss out on selling the furniture? Regardless, I didn't respond to this email)

***************Newest email**************

Hi,
I hope you are fine and alright. I have been busy myself but doing great. There is something i think i must bring to your notice. After a reconciliation of my account, i discovered that somehow my assistant must have over paid you. The payment that was meant for another transaction was sent to you and the one meant for you was sent to another; however i want to believe i won’t have a problem with you.
Please once you receive your payment, i will like you to deduct your money and send the remaining via western union to the manager of the shipping company that will help me with the pick-up. I will ask them to contact you as soon as possible, Let me know if this is ok with you. Please contact me as soon as you get your payment.
Warm regards.

(A-fucking-ha! My initial thought was correct. I wonder what the Bethesda Police Station will do with that check...)

Unfortunately, we still have the old china cabinet and buffet and are expecting the new furniture today. Anyone want a 60 year-old Queen Anne-ish (traditional?) solid wood china cabinet and buffet that are in reasonable condition?

The other white meat

2009-09-15T12:03:00.004-04:00

My house at lunchtime the other day:

TheHusband: What do you want for lunch?
ThePinkThing: Pancakes.
TH: We don't have any [frozen] pancakes, and I can't make them.
TPT: Then I want waffles.
TH: We're out of waffles, too. How about turkey?
TPT: I don't like turkey. (Odd, since she loved turkey just a couple of weeks ago)
TH: Ummm... (thinks it over) How about this white ham that Mommy bought the other day?
TPT: White ham?
TH: Yes. She bought it with the other ham when we were at Great Wolf Lodge.
TPT: Okay.

Eats lunch.

TH: Did you like the white ham?
TPT: Yes, it was really yummy. But isn't white ham, Daddy. It's really light pink ham. Mommy should buy it again.

Please note that the "white ham" which TPT is referring to was Sara Lee Pre-Sliced Oven Roasted Turkey Breast. TheHusband won that round handily. And I never could've gotten away with it.

Sometimes it concerns me that I have a husband who can lie convincingly at any given moment...

Fishy Trollopalooza

2009-09-11T10:33:00.014-04:00

What could be fishy about a Trollopalooza, you ask? Well, last night (and adding the cherry to the sundae of my anniversary), I got to meet up with the Hot Chick, the famous Janiece. She brought along an entourage, which consisted of the Smart Man (he's smart and nice), the Smart BIL (Smart Man's brother, who made me laugh), and the Hot SIL (Smart BIL's wife, who is Smart as well as Hot).

The fishy part comes from our choice of meeting place -- a sushi restaurant in Rockville. Shockingly, no stinky tofu was involved, although much fish was consumed, down to the last piece of the crunchy shrimp roll. It was a lovely evening -- much talk, stories and laughter. TheHusband and Janice traded Navy stories, which were interesting to hear.

Unfortunately, no other UCFers could make it (I spit in the eye of Michelle's boss for his cowardly ways), although the sushi restaurant might have collapsed under the weight of hysteria if Jeri, Michelle, Janiece, and I were all there together...

Sadly, the evening ended on a violent note, when Janiece offended me, and I took steps...

This is my husband... (Updated)

2009-09-10T11:12:00.004-04:00

This is my husband. There are many husbands, but this one is mine. My husband is my best friend. He is my life. I must master him as I master my life. (That means I get to wear the pants in the family!) My husband, without me, is useless (heh!). Without my husband, I am useless (not true!)…

My husband is human, even as I, because he is my life. Thus, I will learn him. I will learn his weakness, his strength, his parts, his accessories, his sights and his barrel (pot belly?). I will keep my husband clean and ready (soap, towels, shampoo, clean laundry), even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

--To TheHusband at the beginning of year 10: Happy 9th Anniversary!

(Adapted from "The Rifleman's Creed", which all Marines learn [and used even though TheHusband was a Sailor, not a Marine...].)
_______________________________
Updated to add the following (thanks Husband!!!):

09/09/09 at 9:09:09

2009-09-09T09:09:00.000-04:00

Cool! Now I'm waiting for 10/10/10 at 10:10:10. :-)

Ouch, Ooch, Eech, Ank

2009-09-08T16:23:00.002-04:00

That was what my brother and I used to say when walking across the hot sand at the beach in Atlantic City. I say it today about my back. I'm off for epidural #3. See you all tomorrow, because I'm already a bit drugged up, and I can't imagine what I'd be writing after my second dose of Valium. Toodles.

Briefly quiet

2009-09-06T13:21:00.003-04:00

Claudia, Doug, and the horde have gone over to Doug's sister's house in Falls Church. They should be back around 4 or 5 pm. Our other internet-guest will be leaving in about an hour and a half. It is quiet here, and ThePinkThing is calmly coloring a Barbie mermaid picture. Although she is enjoying the craziness, she is just not used to it. Claud and I get to leave all of the kids with both husbands and have a girls' sushi night tonight. The boys (and girl) will get a movie night.

More later -- I'll post a write-up and pictures from our visit to the Maryland Renaissance Festival.

Here is a photo for your amusement. Found at boredstop.com

A Whole Week of Fun (and Chaos)

2009-09-04T09:21:00.003-04:00

Yesterday at around 4:50 pm I got a phone call on my cell. The phone said "Hi honey, I'm home!" My BFF is now ensconsed at my house, with her husband and 4 kids, and we get to keep them for a whole week. A whole week! Sushi! Indian food! Hang-out-with-friends time! The Maryland Renassaince Festival! Ben and Jerry's ice cream! Planet Earth! We will even have an extra added bonus visitor -- a fellow-LMB-listie, Christine (xinef), who is willing to trek down from Canada to visit with all of us, will be arriving this afternoon. Chaos Central!

TPT glumly tromped down to the bus stop this morning but was cheered by my saying that I'd pick her up early.

Labor Day?

2009-09-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

After dinner last night we reminded ThePinkThing that even though we will be having visitors from tomorrow through next Tuesday or Wednesday, she still has to go to school. I did mention that Monday was a holiday, so she didn't have to go to school on Monday and could play with the boys all weekend and Monday too. Her reply: "I know Monday is a holiday, Mommy. It's 'Labraham's Day'."

Arcades, Skee-ball, and Air Hockey

2009-09-02T06:00:00.002-04:00

While were staying at Great Wolf Lodge, we dropped some money in the arcade, because we all like arcades. TH loves arcade games, and he spent many hours in arcades when he should have been in school. I loved playing skee-ball (and spent many an hour doing that in one of two arcades on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City [Fun-Spot and Playcade]), so TPT comes by her love of arcades honestly.

Skee-ball has changed quite a bit since my misspent youth of the early 70's. Skee-ball, for those of you who don't know, is a game similar to bowling, but the lane is much shorter, on an upward incline, and the point is to get the baseball-sized ball into a hole rather than knock down pins. It was one of the only arcade games I was good at when I was younger, and I still do well at it.

Great Wolf Lodge has a new-fangled skee-ball game with an alien. The point of alien skee-ball is to nail the swinging pendulum and drop the alien down. Of course, while you're trying to nail the alien, it taunts you. TPT found that part hilarious. I nailed the alien twice in one game and won about 30 tickets. Good for me.

But in the back of the arcade at Great Wolf Lodge was my favoritest arcade game -- air hockey. The game I can't resist. I'll play it even if my back is killing me, and I play hard. Air hockey! You know, the game where the table blows up air from teeny tiny holes, suspending a plastic puck on a somewhat frictionless surface. This allows the players to smack the crap out of the puck using plastic handles. I LOVE this game, and I play viciously (except against little kids -- I will cut them a break). TheHusband also likes air hockey and is not averse to a good hard game.

Our first game of air hockey took place in California -- we found an air hockey table at a mini-golf/arcade place and had ourselves a "nice" game after a round of miniature golf. I bet TH something (I can't remember what) that I would whip his ass. He immediately took me up on the bet. Why shouldn't he? After all, I am short, dumpy, non-athletic, and a bit spastic. He's more than a foot taller than I am and much more coordinated. Easy meat, I suspect he thought. He played easy on me for the first minute or two, but then he realized that was a bad idea. I promptly beat his ass by a score of 7 - 1. Ka-ching!

As it happened, I had never passed along a crucial bit of information. We had an arcade-sized air hockey table in my house when I was a kid. My parents finally donated it to the local Y when my brother and I were in college. But we played it. A lot. So I had lots of practice. I regularly beat my cousins and other boys my age, and I haven't really lost my touch. I did confess after I won that first game, and he vowed never to show me any mercy ever again (at air hockey, at least).

We have an ongoing contest -- we play every time we find a full-sized table. I am the West Coast champ. I think he's the tropical champ (Florida). We found a table at the place where his 20th high school reunion was held and played best 2 out of 3 games. To his great annoyance, I won that match, so I am definitely the Ohio champ. I am now the Virginia champ as well. TPT's eyes were big as saucers watching us whale on the puck, hitting it as hard as we could. Her mom and dad were really trying to beat the other one, no holds barred. She was actively rooting for me, and she jumped up and down when I won (7 - 4). Take that, Husband!

First Grader

2009-08-31T10:50:00.001-04:00

The bus stop is the same as last year, although it seems that only TPT and 2 other kids are at the bus stop. One of the other kids is starting kindergarten today and had no intention of getting on that &^%$*#-ing bus. She bolted twice. Her mom wasn't able to carry her on the bus and her older brother (2nd grade) wasn't able to cajole her. So the shrieking kindergartener was driven to school. We'll see what happens with her tomorrow. TPT, on the other hand, hopped right on the bus and happily went off to school.

I can't believe that I have a kid in first grade. I swear she was just a baby shrieking in her crib just a couple of weeks ago. Now she's in first grade. How did that happen? College is just around the corner, I guess.

ThePinkThing, may you have fun and learn lots this year.

More From Great Wolf Lodge

2009-08-30T22:03:00.014-04:00

We had a very nice time, although 2 full days is about all I can stand.

Our discussion upon arriving at GWL really set the tone for the days we were there...

TheHusband: We're here!
ThePinkThing (gummy-eyed from a nap): We are? Yay!
NeuronDoc: Yes. Let's get out and go check into the room.
TPT: Can we go to the water park now?
ND: After we eat some lunch.
TPT (gets out of the car): Ooh look, Mommy! It's made out of giant Lincoln Logs.
ND (trying not to laugh): They look like Lincoln logs, but really they are fake big tree trunks. And how do you know about Lincoln logs, anyway?
TPT: We learned about them in school and got to play with some.
ND: Really?
TPT: Yes. They're called Lincoln logs because President Lincoln invented them.
ND: Umm, no, they are probably called Lincoln logs because President Lincoln lived in a log cabin when he was little.
TPT: Oh. (pause) Can we go to the water park now?

Lincoln logs were invented by Abraham Lincoln?

We did manage to shove some lunch into her then trundled off to the water park. I really like that they have a family hot tub -- it is large and not as hot as a real hot tub. TPT enjoyed that. She climbed the fort-like thingy in the middle about 25 times to go down the two slides, but what she liked best was the bigger slides that TH took her on. She is not quite 48", but slyly stood on her toes to go on them. After she went on "the big kid slides", the other slides were also-rans.

We hooked up with my friends and their kids on Thursday, and TPT had a great time playing with the older two boys (ages 7.5 and 6) and the baby girl (1 yr). She spent the least amount of time with the almost 4 year-old, partially because of age and partially because she still hasn't forgiven him for terrorizing her a couple of years ago. The only way he gets anything in a house with two older and bigger brothers is to be very forceful. My little only-child isn't used to that. (This isn't TPT in the picture, but I didn't have my camera with me the 18 times she went across this "path").

TPT enjoyed the evening Clock Tower show the first night but missed it the second night, because we were having fun in the arcade (more on the arcade tomorrow). Doug and the two older boys played MagicQuest -- some sort of computerized D&D-like activity, but TPT really wasn't interested. David (the 6 year-old) was especially pleased at her indifference because she gave her magic wand to him (thus he didn't have to share with his older brother). I splurged and got TPT a manicure-pedicure, both of which she thought were great. She is very ticklish, and she just giggled during the pedicure

We made a point of having rooms next door to each other on the ground floor, which allowed for "back-door" visiting. We even ate dinner on Thursday night on our little patio. It also allowed the grown-ups to hang in our room after the kids were in bed (although Doug kept going in to check on the kids). That kind of hang-out time makes me really sad that they don't live nearby.

My BFF (aka Claudia)

Doug

(don't ask what he was holding in his hand...)

TheHusband, enjoying a Pepsi

All-in-all, a nice time. Now it's back to school -- tomorrow is day 1 of 1st grade!

Wal-Mart adventures

2009-08-28T11:54:00.006-04:00

I don't shop at Wal-Mart. I really like the idea of supporting smaller chains or, best of all, mom&pop type establishments. Also there is no Wal-Mart that is convenient to my house. I've only been in a Wal-Mart once, and that was within the past 6 months. I guess I lost my Wal-Mart virginity then.

I am currently vacationing in Williamsburg, VA, and the place we are staying (Great Wolf Lodge) is almost directly next to a Wal-Mart. The convenience is overwhelming. We arrived yesterday, and TheHusband wanted to buy a pair of water shoes, because his feet get sore running around after ThePinkThing. So he went into the little shop here at the hotel. It is actually inside the water park. Did it have any water shoes for men? Nope, none.

At that point, he drove over to Wal-Mart figuring that they have everything there; they'd certainly have men's water shoes, and likely they'd be cheaper. He found a Wal-Mart employee and asked where he could find water shoes. He was told "the shoe aisle." So he went to the shoe aisle. No water shoes. He tried the "Seasonal" aisle, where (shockingly) there were no water shoes. He finally found another (slack-jawed) employee and asked her where he could find water shoes. She looked at him disdainfully and said "the shoe aisle." He told her that there weren't any. Apparently, she rolled her eyes and took him over to some water shoes. But they were women's shoes. Not helpful. Then she walked him over to the men's shoe aisle, where there were... no water shoes. She thought about it and then said "they're out of season." Out of season? In August? In a Wal-Mart literally next to a Great Wolf Lodge? At that point, having had this great big light bulb blink on above her head and having passed on that information, she simply walked away from TH and started talking to a coworker. No apologies, no good-bye. Just simply done with him.

TH ended up trying on the largest women's pair available, but it was like one of Cinderella's stepsisters trying to squeeze her foot into the glass slipper. Unsuccessful. So TH is (somewhat grumpily) running around after TPT in bare feet.

My BFF went to Wal-Mart this morning to pick up some food (she has 4 kids to keep happy). While asking a Wal-Mart employee something, a young woman came up to them. This woman asked where she would find cinnamon sticks. The employee's suggestion was the craft aisle (!), clearly having no idea what a cinnamon stick was. When Claudia (my BFF) suggested that the spices aisle would be a better choice, that was greeted with favor. The employee curiously asked the other customer what she wanted cinnamon sticks for. Answer: "I like to smoke them." (!)

I went over to Wal-Mart also this morning. I needed a few school supplies that were sold out at two stores in Bethesda (crayons and binder dividers). Here is a reasonable outline of that conversation:

Neurondoc: Hi. Can you help me find some school supplies?
Wal-Mart employee: School supplies?
ND: Yes, school supplies.
WME: School supplies?
ND: Yes. You know stuff for kids going back to school.
WME: Oh. (pause) We don't carry school supplies.
ND: What? You don't have crayons and notebooks and paper?
WME: Oh that. They just moved that stuff, and I don't know where it is. You could try the stationery aisle (pointing to the farthest back corner of the store).
ND: Okay.
WME (to another nearby WME): Do we have school supplies?
WME2: Yes. They just moved them.
ND (aaaaaaaahhhhhhh): Thanks for your help.
WME3 (seeing me standing there indecisively): Can I help you find something?
ND (dubious): Do you know where the school supplies are?
WME3: I think so. Over here.
ND (after following WME3 to a nearby aisle, NOT at farthest back corner, mind you): Hmmm. These are office desk supplies. I need some crayons and binder dividers.
WME3: Binder dividers?
ND: Yes, the pages you stick in a 3 ring binder to separate sections of paper.
WME3: Binder dividers? (asks another nearby WME)
WME4: Oh, they're right over here. (walks over one more aisle and points)
ND (truly thankful): That's exactly what I want. Thanks.

I needed the help of 4 people to find school supplies, which as it turned out were in 2 aisles at the front of the store, being as this is the week before most local kids return to school. Sheesh.