04 December 2009

No mother-in-law blues for me

By nature I am a people-pleaser. I am the kind of person who wants people to like me, and I like people in general. When someone doesn't like me, I feel bad/sad/worried. If I am in a situation in which I want to especially please people, unfortunately, I tend to become tongue-tied and nervous.

This brings me to my mother-in-law. I want my mother-in-law to like me. I really want that. She's never exhibited any behavior that makes me think otherwise, but I am still (after over 9 years of marriage) worried that I might say or do something to make her not like me. So I tend to be overly nervous around my MiL, say stupid things, and occasionally behave like a dolt. Mostly because I want her to like me. Add that to a constitutional inability to ask people for help, and you get sort of a mental quagmire. But I waded through it, called up my MiL (who has never been anything but nice to me, remember), and asked if she would come help us.

She immediately agreed and arrived this past Monday. My MiL is not a traveler. She likes to stay close to home. Her usual visits are about 36 hours, which inevitably make ThePinkThing grumpy (why can't Grammy stay longer?) and sad. But this time my MiL stayed for 3 days. And it was great. Fabulous. Wonderful. She entertained TPT (in actuality, TH and I tend to become invisible when Grammy is around), yakked with me during the day, cleaned stuff up, had lots of chat-time with her son, and was a boon to the household.

I can't thank her enough for taking the time away from work to come and mother/grandmother this household, which was sorely in need of it.

And now, perhaps, I will be less nervous around my MiL, and our relationship will be easier.

Note that my MiL reads this blog -- I am not writing this for her or for daughter-in-law brownie points. I am already her favorite DiL (okay, I am her only DiL, so the competition is not fierce). I am writing this because the visit went so well that I wanted to comment on how I hope it helps me get over my overly-nervous behavior around her (no, my MiL will not eat me) and that things will be better in the future. Which is deserving of a "YAY!"


Janiece said...

Amen, sister. Let's hear it for gracious MIL's!

Lorraine said...

What a great mother-in-law! No wonder TH is such a good guy :)

Glad to hear that you got some welcome respite for a few days. And just for the record, you are one of the dearest people I know; it would be really *hard* NOT to like you!

Sending desert warmth your way, Lorraine

Warner (aka ntsc) said...

You are lucky.

My mother vehemently disapproved of both my wives and any girl I ever brought home.

Her kindest comment was gold-digger.

anissa_roy said...

Reading this a year and a half later, I'm glad you recovered from surgery and I hope that future blog posts will mention that you're feeling fantastic.

I had to comment on Nervous MiL Syndrome. See, I have a slightly different version of it - my MiL is nervous around me! She's a naturally high-strung person, and being raised Southern Baptist did not prepare her to accept her daughter's outspoken, profane, stubborn, headstrong girlfriend.

After knowing her for 15 years and being with (we're in FL so it can't be a legal marriage) her daughter for the past 11 years, my MiL has finally gotten more comfortable around me. It just find it hilarious that she was scared of me! I was 14 when we met, too, and surely didn't think of myself as an intimidating person then.