16 September 2009

Scammer receives an "F"

So TheHusband and I are trying to sell our china cabinet and buffet to make room for the new furniture (arriving later this afternoon!). We put an ad up on Craigslist and got 3 responses. I replied to each of these three people. One never responded back. One was so obviously a scammer that I told him that I totally saw through him and to go away.

Here is my email exchange with the third responder:

*****************His response**************

still up for sale?

***************My reply*******************

Yes, they are still for sale. We would love to have them gone by Tuesday evening, because we are getting our new dining room furniture on Wednesday. We are accepting cash only. If you want them you will have get them out of the house yourself (it'll take two people).


***************His response**************

I am glad it is still available for sale.I am very much interested in buying your item and i am ok with the price. I am only able to make payment by money order at this time b/c i am away on assignment. Please provide me with your name , address and phone number for payment. It will take about 7days for payment to get to you. As per pick-up, I will make arrangement for the pick-up within 2 business days after payment has been received by you. I don't mind adding thirty dollars so you can keep it in my favor.Please take the posting off craigslist today and consider it sold to me. Thanks

Expecting to hear from you soon.


(Great, another one of these asswipe scammers, I think to myself. It pissed me off, so I responded thusly)

***************My reply****************************

My name is Natasha Guest. My address is 7359 Wisconsin Ave, Bethesda, MD 20814. My number is (301) 652-9200.

(This name is totally made up -- don't know anyone with this name. The address and phone number are for the Bethesda, MD police station. Ha, I think, go there looking for your money...)

***************His response**************

I have given my assistant the go ahead to mail payment to you.You should receive payment within the coming week( 6-7days time).Once payment is received we can proceed with the pickup.Thanks for your understanding and patience.

(Hmmm. Could I be wrong, and did I miss out on selling the furniture? Regardless, I didn't respond to this email)

***************Newest email**************

I hope you are fine and alright. I have been busy myself but doing great. There is something i think i must bring to your notice. After a reconciliation of my account, i discovered that somehow my assistant must have over paid you. The payment that was meant for another transaction was sent to you and the one meant for you was sent to another; however i want to believe i won’t have a problem with you.
Please once you receive your payment, i will like you to deduct your money and send the remaining via western union to the manager of the shipping company that will help me with the pick-up. I will ask them to contact you as soon as possible, Let me know if this is ok with you. Please contact me as soon as you get your payment.
Warm regards.

(A-fucking-ha! My initial thought was correct. I wonder what the Bethesda Police Station will do with that check...)

Unfortunately, we still have the old china cabinet and buffet and are expecting the new furniture today. Anyone want a 60 year-old Queen Anne-ish (traditional?) solid wood china cabinet and buffet that are in reasonable condition?


Nathan said...

Ms. Guest:

Thank you for submitting payment for our movers to come and remove your unwanted furnishings. We regret, however, to tell you that your check has been returned to us by our bank (First-Second Bank of Nigeria in Absentia). It seems that both the Payee and Signature lines were illegible and therefore, the check cannot be honored.

Regardless of this unfortunate occurrance, we fully intend to fulfill our part of the bargain. Our movers will visit you tomorrow between 10:00 and 18:00 hours to collect your furniture. In lieu of you unprocessible check, our movers will be happy to accept cash in the amount of $15.00,00 (USD) as payment for our services.

We look forward to removing your property and funds.

Eric said...

I can't even find this kind of thing funny anymore. Let's just say certain people who lack education, wisdom, and stable finances might find themselves surprised and shocked to find themselves charged with a felony false pretenses charge when they naively cash the check and send the balance to the mystery address, which leads to a difficult meeting with their court-appointed counsel. Such meetings with counsel have, on more than one occasion, been known to end in shouting or tears.

The imperfections of the legal system are such that, while the system is better than the one in which people were thrown in the pond to see if they float or made to stick their hands in melted lead to see if God would vouch for them with a minor miracle, it is still perfectly possible for a jury to decide they don't believe the person claiming they were mailed the check for furniture they were selling and that they mailed back the "change" from the transaction to a mysterious and unknown foreigner. A lot of people understandably decide they don't want to take the risk of an incredulous jury saddling them with a felony if the State is offering a misdemeanor plea bargain.

I'm reaching the point where these scammers have me reconsidering my views on the death penalty. Let's just say that, pacifist and rationalist that I struggle to be, if I read in the paper that one of these check scammers had been accosted and beaten with an ax handle until they died from a combination of abdominal sepsis, renal failure and cerebral hemorrhage, I wouldn't find the story shocking or appalling, much less sad. It might even make my afternoon.

neurondoc said...

Eric, I know someone who was scammed out of everything -- savings account, 401(k), etc. It was by some guy who preyed on her by pretending to be a boyfriend, then getting hurt in a foreign country and needing money. That led to further requests, until she was completely cleaned out. And she had to pay all sorts of federal and state taxes as penalties for taking money out of her 401(k) prior to retirment.

I received another email from the scammer this morning, and I am tempted to play along even more. Let him show up at the police station to collect his money...


WendyB_09 said...

Hope the ejit likes his matching steel bracelets the local constabulary will be awarding him!