QotD: Where do extra socks go?

This month I've decided to post every day. Since I don't have enough original things to write about (hence the desertish nature of my blog lately), I've decided to ask a new question every day this month and hope that I get answers. I have questions; you have answers.

Where the hell do the extra socks go? I have about 10 or 15 unmatched socks that I just can't get rid of...

QotD: Why does my lane always go the slowest?

This month I've decided to post every day. Since I don't have enough original things to write about (hence the desertish nature of my blog lately), I've decided to ask a new question every day this month and hope that I get answers. I have questions; you have answers.

This is the Tuesday Traffic edition of QotD. As I have noted already, I am plagued by (and think about) traffic. For goodness sake, I drive to and from work on the DC Beltway, so traffic is a part of my commuting life. One aspect of my commute that particularly bugs me is that it seems that no matter what lane I'm in, it is the one going the slowest. (This also happens in the check-out line at the grocery store, too...) All the other lanes pass me by. I can be in the farthest left lane, and that one goes the slowest. I get fed up and move over a lane, and then that one comes to a crashing halt. I doesn't seem to matter if my lane has trucks in it or not. You'd think that the lanes with the 18-wheelers would be going slowest in traffic because of the time lag necessary for them to get up to speed and slow down. Nope. If the truck is not in my lane, it passes me by. I'm sure that physics can easily explain this, but I just wish that people would get out of my way.

Flower!

Just wanted to share a nice picture I took. Apparently, this is a begonia. My non-floral brain simply says "pretty pink flower".

Happy New Year!

I had a friend in college whose parents were both Jewish, but neither were practicing Jews. I don't think either one cared a bit about religion in general, or Judaism in particular. My friend grew up in Southern California, where there are probably half as many Jews as there are in Israel, so she and her sister were (sort of) exposed to Jewish culture.

One fine fall day, my friend's father and sister went to the supermarket to do the grocery shopping. My friend's father was apparently annoyed by the signs and displays in the grocery store. He turned to the sister and said "Why the heck does this store have New Year's signs up? It's September for goodness sake. We haven't even had Halloween or Thanksgiving yet."

The sister replied "Uh, Dad, it's Rosh Hashanah."

Her dad responded with the ever useful "Oh."

Happy New Year and L'shana Tova to those who celebrate it. We're having apples and honey today. And I even took the day off.

Prehistoric Spam

I wonder if TheHusband actually missed out on $100,000 about 25 years ago...





Why no, he never throws things out. Except the telegram the spam-pen came with...

The Lost Luggage Office

I know this isn't a new story, but each time I see it, I am amused:



The next freaking time an airline ruins my bag, I will sing a video and post it on Youtube. That ought to make the airline sit up and notice (and run in fear from my tone-deaf singing voice...).

Blog vacation

Things are really stressful right now between boat-freaking-loads of work, my second full-time job (TPT, who is a much more fun job than the first one, but just doesn't pay as well), constant back pain (will be visiting the doctor who slashes with a scalpel next week), visits, visitors, spring cleaning (yes, yes, I know it's autumn), and various other stuff that creeps up and attacks without warning.

Even having the blog is stressful. I want to write stuff, but I am too tired. Then I get annoyed that I haven't blogged. So, in order to reduce my stress by a teensy bit, I am going to take a blog vacation. I should be back in about a month.

However, as an appropriately neurological send-off, I will leave you with the immortal words (and music) of Schoolhouse Rock:



(Although the glaringly obvious neurological mistake in this song annoys me a lot)

Happy Jew Year!

What?




L'shana tova to all.

Zzzzzzzzzz. Or not.

(Picture from Abstract City, Christoph Niemann's visual NYTimes blog)

This is literally one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I want to know how Christoph Niemann got inside my bedroom and my head...

I am not a good sleeper. In fact, I often stay up late to make myself so tired that I can fall asleep more easily. In other words, if I am dropping dead tired, I can fall asleep within 20 minutes. Otherwise, all bets are off. A friend pointed me to this NYTimes blog post by an illustrator, and I about bust a gut laughing.

How the hell did he know???

Scammer receives an "F"

So TheHusband and I are trying to sell our china cabinet and buffet to make room for the new furniture (arriving later this afternoon!). We put an ad up on Craigslist and got 3 responses. I replied to each of these three people. One never responded back. One was so obviously a scammer that I told him that I totally saw through him and to go away.

Here is my email exchange with the third responder:

*****************His response**************

still up for sale?

***************My reply*******************

Yes, they are still for sale. We would love to have them gone by Tuesday evening, because we are getting our new dining room furniture on Wednesday. We are accepting cash only. If you want them you will have get them out of the house yourself (it'll take two people).

Thanks,

***************His response**************

Hello,
I am glad it is still available for sale.I am very much interested in buying your item and i am ok with the price. I am only able to make payment by money order at this time b/c i am away on assignment. Please provide me with your name , address and phone number for payment. It will take about 7days for payment to get to you. As per pick-up, I will make arrangement for the pick-up within 2 business days after payment has been received by you. I don't mind adding thirty dollars so you can keep it in my favor.Please take the posting off craigslist today and consider it sold to me. Thanks

Expecting to hear from you soon.

Regards

(Great, another one of these asswipe scammers, I think to myself. It pissed me off, so I responded thusly)

***************My reply****************************

My name is Natasha Guest. My address is 7359 Wisconsin Ave, Bethesda, MD 20814. My number is (301) 652-9200.

(This name is totally made up -- don't know anyone with this name. The address and phone number are for the Bethesda, MD police station. Ha, I think, go there looking for your money...)

***************His response**************

Hello,
I have given my assistant the go ahead to mail payment to you.You should receive payment within the coming week( 6-7days time).Once payment is received we can proceed with the pickup.Thanks for your understanding and patience.
Regards.

(Hmmm. Could I be wrong, and did I miss out on selling the furniture? Regardless, I didn't respond to this email)

***************Newest email**************

Hi,
I hope you are fine and alright. I have been busy myself but doing great. There is something i think i must bring to your notice. After a reconciliation of my account, i discovered that somehow my assistant must have over paid you. The payment that was meant for another transaction was sent to you and the one meant for you was sent to another; however i want to believe i won’t have a problem with you.
Please once you receive your payment, i will like you to deduct your money and send the remaining via western union to the manager of the shipping company that will help me with the pick-up. I will ask them to contact you as soon as possible, Let me know if this is ok with you. Please contact me as soon as you get your payment.
Warm regards.

(A-fucking-ha! My initial thought was correct. I wonder what the Bethesda Police Station will do with that check...)

Unfortunately, we still have the old china cabinet and buffet and are expecting the new furniture today. Anyone want a 60 year-old Queen Anne-ish (traditional?) solid wood china cabinet and buffet that are in reasonable condition?

Ouch, Ooch, Eech, Ank

That was what my brother and I used to say when walking across the hot sand at the beach in Atlantic City. I say it today about my back. I'm off for epidural #3. See you all tomorrow, because I'm already a bit drugged up, and I can't imagine what I'd be writing after my second dose of Valium. Toodles.

Briefly quiet

Claudia, Doug, and the horde have gone over to Doug's sister's house in Falls Church. They should be back around 4 or 5 pm. Our other internet-guest will be leaving in about an hour and a half. It is quiet here, and ThePinkThing is calmly coloring a Barbie mermaid picture. Although she is enjoying the craziness, she is just not used to it. Claud and I get to leave all of the kids with both husbands and have a girls' sushi night tonight. The boys (and girl) will get a movie night.

More later -- I'll post a write-up and pictures from our visit to the Maryland Renaissance Festival.

Here is a photo for your amusement. Found at boredstop.com

Wal-Mart adventures

I don't shop at Wal-Mart. I really like the idea of supporting smaller chains or, best of all, mom&pop type establishments. Also there is no Wal-Mart that is convenient to my house. I've only been in a Wal-Mart once, and that was within the past 6 months. I guess I lost my Wal-Mart virginity then.

I am currently vacationing in Williamsburg, VA, and the place we are staying (Great Wolf Lodge) is almost directly next to a Wal-Mart. The convenience is overwhelming. We arrived yesterday, and TheHusband wanted to buy a pair of water shoes, because his feet get sore running around after ThePinkThing. So he went into the little shop here at the hotel. It is actually inside the water park. Did it have any water shoes for men? Nope, none.

At that point, he drove over to Wal-Mart figuring that they have everything there; they'd certainly have men's water shoes, and likely they'd be cheaper. He found a Wal-Mart employee and asked where he could find water shoes. He was told "the shoe aisle." So he went to the shoe aisle. No water shoes. He tried the "Seasonal" aisle, where (shockingly) there were no water shoes. He finally found another (slack-jawed) employee and asked her where he could find water shoes. She looked at him disdainfully and said "the shoe aisle." He told her that there weren't any. Apparently, she rolled her eyes and took him over to some water shoes. But they were women's shoes. Not helpful. Then she walked him over to the men's shoe aisle, where there were... no water shoes. She thought about it and then said "they're out of season." Out of season? In August? In a Wal-Mart literally next to a Great Wolf Lodge? At that point, having had this great big light bulb blink on above her head and having passed on that information, she simply walked away from TH and started talking to a coworker. No apologies, no good-bye. Just simply done with him.

TH ended up trying on the largest women's pair available, but it was like one of Cinderella's stepsisters trying to squeeze her foot into the glass slipper. Unsuccessful. So TH is (somewhat grumpily) running around after TPT in bare feet.

My BFF went to Wal-Mart this morning to pick up some food (she has 4 kids to keep happy). While asking a Wal-Mart employee something, a young woman came up to them. This woman asked where she would find cinnamon sticks. The employee's suggestion was the craft aisle (!), clearly having no idea what a cinnamon stick was. When Claudia (my BFF) suggested that the spices aisle would be a better choice, that was greeted with favor. The employee curiously asked the other customer what she wanted cinnamon sticks for. Answer: "I like to smoke them." (!)

I went over to Wal-Mart also this morning. I needed a few school supplies that were sold out at two stores in Bethesda (crayons and binder dividers). Here is a reasonable outline of that conversation:

Neurondoc: Hi. Can you help me find some school supplies?
Wal-Mart employee: School supplies?
ND: Yes, school supplies.
WME: School supplies?
ND: Yes. You know stuff for kids going back to school.
WME: Oh. (pause) We don't carry school supplies.
ND: What? You don't have crayons and notebooks and paper?
WME: Oh that. They just moved that stuff, and I don't know where it is. You could try the stationery aisle (pointing to the farthest back corner of the store).
ND: Okay.
WME (to another nearby WME): Do we have school supplies?
WME2: Yes. They just moved them.
ND (aaaaaaaahhhhhhh): Thanks for your help.
WME3 (seeing me standing there indecisively): Can I help you find something?
ND (dubious): Do you know where the school supplies are?
WME3: I think so. Over here.
ND (after following WME3 to a nearby aisle, NOT at farthest back corner, mind you): Hmmm. These are office desk supplies. I need some crayons and binder dividers.
WME3: Binder dividers?
ND: Yes, the pages you stick in a 3 ring binder to separate sections of paper.
WME3: Binder dividers? (asks another nearby WME)
WME4: Oh, they're right over here. (walks over one more aisle and points)
ND (truly thankful): That's exactly what I want. Thanks.

I needed the help of 4 people to find school supplies, which as it turned out were in 2 aisles at the front of the store, being as this is the week before most local kids return to school. Sheesh.

Brain still in weekend mode

Insert witty, amusing blog post here...

So, would you rather...

...catch swine flu or become a zombie?

I am not sure of the answer, but a bunch of mathematicians at University of Ottawa (those wacky Canucks!) used mathematical models to calculate the effects of plausible pandemics by using an infestation of zombies as the disease vector. This paper has been published.

For disease models, the researchers picked the typical slow-movie zombies from movies such as Night of the Living Dead which infect humans with a bite and can only be killed by a blow to the head. The population was broken down into live humans, zombies and dead zombies. In their model, there was no cure other than complete eradication, and that had to happen right from the start with coordination of efforts. "A zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly," they write in the paper. "Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read."

For some odd reason, this talk of the end of civilization reminds of a long thread on the Bujold listserv, from at least 10 years ago. Someone postulated that if all of the members of the listserv were magically transported to an uninhabited planet with no Earth food, water, medical equipment or tools, we would all eventually die. The planet did potentially have edible items and potable water but how would we tell? In this exercise, an evil (or mischievous) alien named Yeltar was the reason behind our removal from Earth. After much discussion, it was pretty well agreed upon that, given the above scenario, the colony on Bujoldia was doomed. If the planet came with a user's manual and was eminently hospitable, then perhaps we'd scratch by. Perhaps. And occasionally I still think "Bite me, Yeltar"...
_________________
H/T to The Telegraph
Photo: Tyler Hicks/The New York Times

I can't decide if I love it or hate it...

My aunt sent me an email with a link to this Youtube video. It is the Christians United for Israel's (CUFI) version of "Hava Nagila" - Texas style



Overall, I think I like it (in a sickly fascinated sort of way), but "Hava Nagila" is now stuck in my head.

A century of blog posts

This is post #100. I'm impressed with myself and shocked I've kept it up, actually. Of course, I don't really have anything in particular to say today.

I am spending this weekend with my cousin (aka Cuzzy). I will be resting, reading, shopping, eating (sushi -- yum!), swimming, and "making art". I'm excited.

What are you doing this weekend? (Besides the trollops, who are hanging out being trollopy -- we know what you're doing...)

Random WTF-ness related to my new building

Random WTF comments/moments:

• To the lady in the green skirt who walked into the building "with" me this morning: If you are going to elbow past me (almost knocking me over) to get in the front door of the building first, please do not turn around and smile at me afterwards. It doesn't make it any better, and I won't smile back.


• Why do the toilets in the new bathrooms douse my behind more effectively than the sink faucets wet my hands? The toilet flush and the sink faucets are automatic. The toilet inevitably flushes at least once while I am sitting on it, and not infrequently twice after I'm done. This is saving water? The faucet sensor is pointed in a direction that must change everyday and makes no sense anyway. I put the soap on my hand then stand there waving my hands under the faucet (feeling like a moron), trying to get the water to turn on. Not infrequently it catches sight of my hands and turns on just as I am moving my hands to a new spot, so it turns right off. Grrrr.


• To the driver of the giant SUV with Virginia FOP tags -- just because you are a member of the Fraternal Order of Police does not mean that it is okay for you to park in a handicapped spot. Why yes, all those dirty looks were meant for you.


• To the people who designed the building -- are you color-blind? My floor is the "green floor". They chose a reasonably nice set of greens, ranging from a dark olive to an unobtrusive lime. But why would you think those colors go with tan and brown speckled carpeting, hmmm? While I suspect you chose the carpet to minimize dirt showing, it still looks weird. And whose idea was the orange floor? Perhaps orange for an entire floor (with that same brown speckled carpeting, mind you) was a bit much...


• And to the people who run the building: if you think that we will refrain from playing Hollywood Squares or Tic-Tac-Toe in our inner atrium office windows, then you're smoking something...


• Why is it that I am not allowed to bring my little digital camera into the building, but I can bring in my cell phone which has a built-in camera? Why? Because I am not on "the camera list", that's why. That literally makes no sense.

But regardless of all of the whining and whinging above -- the building structure overall is great. It feels completely weird to work in a state-of-the-art space which is light and somewhat airy and is a nice combination of future and past (e.g., modern clean lines alongside exposed brick). Even the phone system is cool, although the story about my first incoming phone call is for another day...

"Addiction"

I'd have to agree.

(Thanks to xkcd...)

The Country Club Set, Or How to See Free Fireworks

We have one of the benefits of belonging to a country club without having to pay the membership fee. I am not much of a joiner in general, and I don't get the concept of paying umpteen thousands of dollars to join a country club. I don't play golf or tennis. I am not good at regular small talk (although I can do SF or medical small talk). I like swimming in swimming pools, but my county has several public outdoor public pools and two indoor ones that are quite nice.

However, many country clubs have big fireworks displays for the 4th of July. That's what some of the membership goes to, I guess. Well, we have the benefit of the fireworks without the insane joining and yearly membership fees. There is a country club on the other side of the field behind my house. Their yearly July 4th fireworks display is always the Sunday before the 4th, which (this year) was last night. Now, it took us about 4 or 5 years of living in the house before we figured out that the fireworks were the Sunday before the 4th.

[BAM!]
Neurondoc: What was that?
TheHusband: Fireworks, I think.
ND: Oooh, fireworks! But it's not July 4th.
[BLAM!]
TH: Those are definitely fireworks. Let's go see.
ND: Okay.

(That exchange happened several years running.)

As we've done the last 2 years, we let ThePinkThing stay up late, took some plastic chairs out into the backyard at about 9:15, and watched some free fireworks. The view is obstructed, because we don't get to see the low-flying fireworks, but the high ones are beautifully visible. It was as nice as previous years, and TheHusband and I hummed "Stars and Stripes Forever" to go along with the fireworks. No trudging to the car and waiting in line afterwards.

The worst part about it is the mosquitos. I wised up this year and wore long pants and a long sleeve shirt to prevent bug bites. But they still got me -- I have 3 bug bites on my hands. Grrr.