I picked ThePinkThing up from camp yesterday evening and freaked out one of her counselors. You see, I left a flesh-eating bacterium on TPT's carseat and she was happy about it.
Huh? Now you're thinking I'm out of my mind. I'm really not. You see, I love flesh eating bacteria (Strep pyogenes). I also love rabies (Rabies virus), mad cow (bovine spongiform encephalopathy), and Influenza A (orthomyxovirus). Now you're thinking she's gone off the deep end. I can hear you thinking it. Really I can.
Nope. I'm sane. Or mostly sane. I just love microbes in their giant friendly form. Giant Microbes to be exact. They are the stuffed animal version of various germs that you may encounter during your lifetime (e.g., the common cold), germs you hope never to encounter (e.g., Ebola), or other cells that you can't live without (e.g., red blood cells). They even have other critters such as algae, mosquitos, and bed bugs. I've sent out Ebola (to Janiece), swine flu (to my aunt who had it and recovered), and pneumococcus (to a friend who recently recovered from pneumonia).
Being a doctor with a vivid imagination, a love of anthropomorphizing inanimate objects, and a reasonably strong stomach, these are the stuffed animals for me. I currently own a neuron (duh, of course), rabies (in honor of Jenny McCarthy), the flu, mad cow (it eats brains, I couldn't resist), and flesh-eating bacteria (it is the funniest one, in my opinion). The flesh-eating bacterium is my favorite, and it is the source of much fun between TPT and me. It's name is (appropriately) Fleshie. Fleshie loves TPT and stares at her. (Fleshie is a girl, according to TPT, as is Mad Cow. Rabies and Flu are boys. Don't ask me.) Fleshie frequently asks TPT if she (Fleshie) can eat her (TPT). TPT always says no. If Fleshie becomes too obstreperous, she gets banished into time-out (the laundry hamper). Sometimes one or two of the other germs are also banished into the hamper. Then they get into a fight in the hamper, with me animating all of their voices. I always have a rapt audience, who doesn't hesitate to wade into the fray. It entertains us both. TheHusband is amused and not infrequently bemused.
TPT is kinda pissed that all of the "giant germs" are mine. I promised her that if she learned to swim by the end of the summer, we would buy her two germs for her own. The other day we went to the web site to see what they have, and so the TPT could pick some potential germs for herself. I went along their catalog alphabetically. TPT wanted to know the real name of each germ, what each one does to people, and if they can kill you. This was all fine and good until I got to Chlamydia. It totally stopped me in my tracks. O.O How the hell does one explain an STD to a 6 year-old? I got out of that sticky situation by saying that it causes boo-boos on a vagina or a penis, but can't kill someone. Thank goodness she didn't ask how it gets there... As we scrolled through the rest, I skipped gonorrhea and syphilis. Once was enough. TPT wants Epstein Barr virus. Why? Because it is pretty. God help me.
Anyway, back to why "they" think I'm crazy. As I said at the top of the post, I left Fleshie on TPT's seat. She immediately picked Fleshie up and made her "bite" me. So I grabbed Mad Cow out of the bag and had Mad Cow "bite" Fleshie and TPT. The counselor looked on in bemusement. When TPT explained, she didn't look any less concerned. I am sure that she went back to the other counselors and told them that TPT's mother is crazy... She is probably right, but at least I am having fun. I doubt it will scar TPT.
Have a nice weekend. I'll be back on Wednesday!